When You Realize They’re Truly YOUR Kids…

DjNDevin in Club W Box

Every day we sit back and observe our little ones grow, mature, form personalities, and began to form specific interests. While most of the time we smile at the little antics that come forth with our kids, other times we have to flat out shake our heads. DJ is turning into a stubborn, slick-mouthed risk taker who Never takes No for an answer, but is quite smart, compassionate and loving (much like his Father). Then there’s Devin. At 10 months old, you can look at him and see right into my soul, lol. He’s a feisty and bossy little busy-body aggressive person, that likes to fight, fuss, and talk back. He also isn’t too privy to doing whatever it is that you told him to do. My babies!

Your parents always tell you that they can’t wait until you have children of your own, so you will get to experience the pain that you put them through. I now Completely understand this concept! The next time that I ask DJ to perform a task and he responds with “Pardon Me Mommy?? What are you trying to say?”, I’m going to hide all of his action figures and tell him that they went to live with another family! What 4yr old says Pardon Me??? Well, one who’s mother is a certified grammar nazi and used to proofread essays in college as a work-study job. My fault :-/ Β I guess I would rather him speak intellectually than spit out a host of “finna/boutas” I just wish he wouldn’t check the hell outta Me! Then it’s the fact that he greets each parental re-direction as an opportunity to debate and argue his case while on trial. Mr. Robinson, Sr. you say??… Devin probably has like three more times to punch me closed fist in the face and then annoyingly grunt at me as if he’s going to Completely kick my ass the next time I upset him. He’s kinda bi-polar (and I use that term very lightly, as I would never disrespect anyone with a legit mental illness. My career was in mental health. I love y’all! πŸ™‚ My baby is a mixture of a refreshingly sweet and comforting, loving little heart, with a taste of short-tempered non-tolerance, and the boldness to lash out aggresively Fast when he is not happy or in a situation that makes him uncomfortable. Hey Mommy! πŸ˜›

I try to always remember that our children will always be a reflection of us and model what we do, however some traits they will automatically inherit no matter what. Those are probably the things that will frustrate us the most and truly cause us to stop and look at the bigger picture. Who do we want our children to be and why? Who do We want to be and why? I have become more mindful of my actions since I’ve become a parent, but my little devil comes out quite often. It’s quite natural though, and nothing that I’m going to lose sleep over. I am one of those parents who will have open dialogue with my kids about how much our shit stinks and what we might need to do to fix it!

For now, embrace your little mini-mes and Thank God you have been given the blessing to be able to see yourself manifested through the creation of life that you made with another person. I’m gonna love on mine every chance I get! I’m still shaking my head though…

As you can see in the above pic, I caught mine terrorizing my Wine Club box. If you know me at All, then you know that These Are Defintely MY Kids!!!! πŸ˜€

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You Know You’re a Mom When…

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It’s Sunday! What better a day to reflect the Joys of being a Mommy, than on the day that the average Mom is home ALL day with the little boogers! πŸ™‚ Gathering info from other Mamas out there, combined with my own adventures, I compiled a list of things to remind you that “You Know You’re a Mom When…”

  1. You crave sleep. Like seriously want to throw a tantrum because you can’t take a simple 20 minute nap. You want to punch your significant other for not understanding your intense fatigue, and smack all of the geniuses who keep telling you to “sleep when the baby sleeps”. Oh ok! I guess I’ll have time later on to Eat, Wash my body, clean the bottles, wash the dishes, prep dinner, etc. You know, because I can sleep now and then do all of that other stuff when the baby wakes back up! Grrrrr.
  2. Showering is like a magical escape to a tropical island. Especially when you have yummy smelling shower gel, and sneak wine in the bathroom. Sure, the baby thinks you smell like heaven and keeps burying his little head in your arm pits and sweaty boobs. Your husband however won’t think that any of this shit is cute and side eye the heck out of you! Find time to shower!
  3. When you know Dad is taking the kids somewhere important, like the doctor, you know that you better lay EVERYTHING out way ahead of time, with detailed instructions of what needs to happen, where everybody needs to be, and by when! You know you have to make the diaper bag and take out the insurance cards etc., and put it all somewhere in Clear site that you know he HAS to pass by on the way out. We all love our Boos, but we also know better!
  4. The lady at Binny’s knows who you are, greets you by name when you walk in the store, and shows you where they moved your favorite wine when they re-merchandised the store earlier…Whaaat?? I have a Binny’s card. Don’t judge me! πŸ˜‰
  5. When people with no kids offer up unsolicited advice or ridiculous opinions about things involving children, and you’re usually giving them the Boo Boo face, and wondering why you are even entertaining this conversation.
  6. When your weekly planned Solo trip to the grocery store is something you REALLY enjoy partaking in, and get a serious attitude if someone offers to go with you.
  7. When you stop carrying baby purses and start buying big ass Totes because you need to fit Everything in it! My Longchamp holds everything from my favorite Burts Bees lip balm, to an extra pack of Zyrtec, to my birth control pills, to my makeup bag, to three diapers, wipes, hand sanitizer, Neosporin On-the-Go, a baggie of puffs, and a pack of fruit snacks!
  8. You can type a blog, text your husband about what he wants for dinner, catch up on Being Mary Jane, listen to your Mother yap about church and ‘pastor’ over the phone, argue under a status on Facebook, take selfies, post on Instagram, make a sandwich, feed the baby, and listen for some shit to go crashing in the living room while the 4yr old watches Avengers Assemble…..all at the same time!
  9. You stopped wearing nail tips and over-the-top designs Years ago and stick with a simple no-chip mani, because there’s NO way in hell you can give an infant a bath, wipe a booty, or close twelve thousand snaps and buttons on a onesie with long dumb ass nails!
  10. You’re tired! Like Really tired!!! Did I say this one already??? You’re up throughout the night pulling boobs out to nourish your child, and back up early in the am to start your day and prepare your children for theirs. If you work, you go to a place and put on a face to politely as possible deal with people you don’t always like so that you can continue to keep a roof over the heads of the ankle biters that drive you crazy :). If you have a husband, you better be doing the splits, swinging from a ceiling fan, and keeping your Vicky Secret account paid off, so that you can keep his attention as well. As a wife, you have to please him too! By the time you get alone time you’re a wreck! However, at the end of the day you know it’s all worth it. Why??…because you’re a Mom and we get shit done! πŸ˜‰

You see that picture above, and I wouldn’t trade them for the World!!

Boys Will be Boys…Won’t They???

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So it’s 10:08 in the P.M…I am exhausted! Now is when I work though. Ren & Stimpy are sound asleep. Or at least they have clean teeth and bodies, have peed (the big one), have a dry butt (the little one), are quiet, and have no visible signs of trauma or distress. They’re both in their rooms and respectively being silent, so I Β could care less whether to attribute that to sleep or not. My husband is in the living room in his undies perusing Netflix, scratching his balls, and indulging in his Most favorite delicacy, Key Lime Pie. All is Well right now in the Robinson household.

What all exactly happened today though? This is the million dollar question! For starters, YES that is my overly expensive, but most comfortable ever, boob-saving Vicky Secret Bra that the 10 month old has on his Head in the picture! That’s the type of wacky shit that happens around here. I don’t know how he got it, but it seemed to entertain him at the time. I actually found it humorous, got over it, and continued to live life. You see, my house is free reign. I’m not one of those stuffy Mommies who limits my kids to certain wings of the home, establishing ridiculous rules as to where they can’t go. Kids are kids and you have to let them roam or else you’ll be drinking grain alcohol for breakfast out of a “#1 Mom” coffee mug, and smoking doobies at nap time.

So today we ventured to the park. I live in one of those neighborhoods that you can push the baby around in a stroller safely and old ladies are honorary neighborhood watch and say dumb shit to you like “Oh Baby you’re so young! In my day, kids didn’t need all them toys just to have fun. We played with dirt and rocks and had the Best of times!” …Yeah, and in you’re day the cotton gin had just been invented and my Great Grandma wasn’t even an embryo yet :/ …I just smile and nod pleasantly and go on about my way before this conversation gets too deep! Our park trip is good. I even swing a little with DJ and show him how to push himself higher into the air. The 10 month old has his legs comfortably propped up on the tray of his stroller dangling his little feet in the air and humming baby gibberish. We are doing great!

Then it was time to go back home…After we walk almost four blocks further than our home, strolling relaxingly along, DJ has a Complete melt-down about having to now go in the house. Like, one of those melt-downs where it takes you aback a little, and you feel a bit psycho for about 2 seconds, and you have to lean in Real close to your kid to aggressively whisper the ish that just popped into your mind. At this point, the 10 month old is over this whole walking/park thing as well, because he’s chunky and hot and irritable, so he starts whining too. I promise that they MustΒ plan this stuff!

So Mommy does some quick thinking and remembers that she doesn’t have a record, her husband has a good job and can’t quit to stay at home with the kids if she goes to jail, and that she has a future. She gives the one having a meltdown the “look”, scoops the 10 month old up, and gets everybody back in the house. What happens after that don’t have Nothing to do with y’all!! :-D…..just remember I started this off by saying the kids had no visible signs of trauma or distress tonight! πŸ˜‰

Disclaimer for those who take my posts a bit too literally: I do NOT actually harm my children! This is what writing is. It’s called embellishment! Goodnight! πŸ™‚

Mommy Loves Target and So Do We!!!!

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Every mother’s BIGGEST venture!! Going to the store with the kiddos. This can be Really cool and productive, or it can be a Complete nightmare! I think the best thing is to always keep it fun no matter what and always remember your patience, that you love your children, and how to push a cart while counting to ten πŸ˜€

So everyone that knows me, knows the fact that I absolutely and with everything inside of me LOVE Target! I am one of those women who run in for some Febreeze and a birthday card and come out with $100 worth of candles, the latest Ninja Turtle toy, tons of pointless crap from the dollar section, and an entire new bedroom set! Eeeeeek! Unfortunately, there is no stopping this madness even when I have the boys with me. We still must tackle the big red circle!

So here’s my scene…pull up to a parking space while sternly giving the infamous “don’t touch ish! don’t ask for ish! and if you get loud in this store and embarrass me, I will personally make sure that Captain America runs away from home tonight!” speech. (yes, I threaten my 4Β yr old. You haven’t met him in real life). Of course he sincerely assures me of his intentions on ‘being a good boy’ during our trip, but my innate Mommy senses know better. He’s a professional midget manipulator but I love him anyway, and have learned how to play his game. The 10 month old is eating his toes in the back of the car, and I’m putting in a special prayer that he waits until we get home to have his Holy Shit poop. I’m not a super clean freak, but something about those diaper changing stations just ain’t right! Even with the three blankets and sterile protective liner I use under his little booty.

We’re entering Target and the Midget Manipulator has already forgotten about our previous agreement less than five minutes ago and immediately lunges for an oversized red crayon bank in the dollar section. I immediately scold him, making him put it back. So what it’s only two dollars and this is where his Momma usually spends 1/4 of her Target budget. He doesn’t know that, and it’s all about the Principle :). We head straight to the baby aisle as our mission is to get Nursery water, cereal, items for lunch, and toilet tissue…wish me luck! We do pretty well in the baby aisle until the 10 month old discovers that he knows how to climb completely out of his seat and arbitrarily throw shit at his brother in the back of the cart. I can’t actually strap him in because he’s a pretty chunky baby (sad face). The Midget Manipulator now has his FALL, 6-12 month sized jacket, that he refused to leave home, pulled over his head in protest of not being able to have that red crayon. The 10 month old thinks this is funny and starts yelling…I’m speeding towards the toilet tissue.

We successfully make it to the cash wrap with all desired items, two kids, my car keys, my purse, and two kids. This is Great! Then some nosey know-it-all lady with a press ‘n’ go gets her panties in a bunch because the 10 month old is standing in the cart taking gum off of the counter. I politely tell her that he’s fine and he’s a baby, and start placing the gum back in its designated slot. The Midget Manipulator then tells me that the lady shouldn’t be talking to his baby brother Devin. His says this loudly. He keeps repeating it. Her face frowns up. I smirk back. I don’t even tell him to be quiet. At this point, we’ve made it to the home stretch with no strikes, and she’s just going to have to get over herself today.

I pay our for our items and we’re back out the door in less than thirty minutes, under $100, and the 10 month old isn’t smelly yet!! I rejoice and be glad πŸ™‚ …and then the Midget Manipulator informs me in the car that he “didn’t mean to have that crayon that’s in my pocket Mommy” Β 0_0

I turn around and see the oversized red crayon, and simultaneously hear a Loud poot….There goes the successful Target Trip!

“Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.” – Marc Brown

So who ARE we?? Yes, we’re brothers, but we’re SO much more than that! We’re Best Friends and Awesome kids! Here’s a little bit about us…

I’m DJ, an overly active, kind-hearted & sincere 4yr old that LOVES Ninja Turtles and Avengers, and is borderline Genius (no seriously). I am my Mommy’s ‘Pumpkin’ and my Daddy’s Junior and main sidekick. I do NOTHING without my Daddy! He’s my hero in real life and everything that he is I need to be! I was brought into his life for a reason and he knows it! πŸ˜‰ I am a Very proud, and fairly new, Big Brother. I take that job really seriously, and protect my baby brother at all costs! I still haven’t really managed the sharing thing yet, but I’m getting better! My Granny is my World! She was my first teacher through home-schooling, and holds Huge credit to my current level of intelligence! Outside of my Daddy, that’s probably my favorite person! I’m starting school in a couple of weeks and I’ll be in Pre-Kindergarten. I’m really excited about it and have met a lot of my friends and classmates already at Summer Camp! I’m looking forward to being a ‘Big Boy’ that goes to school everyday! My favorite toys are my Ninja Turtle Bow Staff stick, my Captain America Shield, my Thor Hammer, and my Jessie action figure from Toy Story (she might be my first girlfriend πŸ™‚ ). My favorite foods are pizza and fruit snacks and I really like the Vanilla Bean Frappuccino at Starbucks! My favorite color is red, and my favorite activity is playing outside at the park!

I’m Devin, a very busy, fun-loving and playful, and sometimes aggressive 9 month old, that likes crawling and pulling up onto things and getting into stuff that I shouldn’t be. I am my Daddy’s twin, and my Mommy’s ‘Gummy Bear’. She also has all of these other names for me like “Pooka Snoota”, “Snooka Poota”, and “Baby Lotso.” (SUCH a Mom!). That’s my girl though, and we Love to cuddle! I was kind of her miracle baby. I’m sure she’ll tell you guys all about that later. While I’m the newest to my family, I’m actually the most bossy. Small and Feisty! I sort of like to play fight. Mommy thinks I ay be a professional fighter one day. Β My brother Really entertains me and I’m always looking for him to see what silliness he’s up to. He makes me laugh! I’m glad I got him as a Big Brother!! πŸ™‚ Right now, I’m trying to learn how to walk. I “crab walk” and crawl right now, but my Granny bought me some cool shoes from Stride Rite, that are supposed to help and support my walking. Then I’ll REALLY be able to tear some stuff up!! I don’t really have a favorite food yet because I only have 5 teeth and Mommy and Daddy only give me my milk and itty bitty pieces of food sometimes. I don’t think it’s fair because they always get to eat the yummy smelling stuff, but hey, what do I know?1? I’m only 9 months! My favorite toy is Anything in my brother’s room that I can get my hands on, and I can’t be without my paci! I don’t know my colors yet, and I Β can only say small words like “Dada”, “Mama”, and “DJ”. My favorite activities are drinking my milk and napping. I like when Mommy sings songs to me right before I fall asleep.

So now that you know a little bit more about us, Mommy can start telling you All about our adventures! Hope you enjoy!!

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“We’re WAY Too Popular for Regular Life!”

Welcome Everybody! I know some are wondering exactly what this blog will be about. Well, I have two very busy, rambunctious little boys under the age of 5, that are Full of Life and Energy! At the very least, their shenanigans need to be shared and exposed so that they can spread joy among others as well πŸ™‚ The insight of this blog will come directly through me, their Mommy! I am currently a stay-at-home Mom/Wife and have a front row seat to the boy’s everyday antics. Regularly giving my personal Facebook page a glimpse of them hasn’t seemed to be enough. People demand them! They ask me questions about them! They want to see more pics and videos of them! They steal the scene out in public! People Love Them!! So I created their Own site, and here is where you’ll find it all!! While I encourage colorful content and relevant commentary, please remember that these are KIDS and be respectful in that light. These are my prized possessions and sharing them with the world is a privilege. Now that we have the technicalities out of the way, let’s have some fun!! I present to you…. Dj ‘N’ Devin!!!