6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

MomNDad

I was trying to figure out which blog this topic should go under, and decided that it fell more so into the “parental/family” category, so here goes!

Over the past weekend, we unfortunately missed at least two pretty important celebrations of life events for some of our closest friends (and Thankfully they are the type of people who understood the reasoning for our absence, and they’re ok…Everybody isn’t though). These were occasions that we were actually invited to, RSVPd for, and expected to attend. Then a little thing called LIFE happened, and our fun-filled weekend was replaced with a killer sinus headache, an exhausted Mommy, a sneezing/stuffy Daddy, trying to get a car battery replaced, a coloring book marathon with my 4-year old, and a massive poop explosion from the 11-month old tyrant! So…in all things typical of a writer, I decided to turn this experience into a special FYI for the world to be informed about. It is necessary and we’re probably not the only family that needs to share this “heart-felt” disclaimer! 😉

Here it is! 6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

  1. We have KIDS!!! I know. I know. This one is too easy and a lot of people are tired of hearing it. However, I feel like most Need to! Especially those who do Not have kids. While we still love you, we also need you to know that you have NO idea the strange ish that randomly occurs in a household with children. A temperature that’s 2 degrees over the norm, or a baby whining because of a missed nap can drastically curve Mommy and Daddy’s care about meeting up for drinks and chatter!
  2. We are TIRED!!! Like, not normal tired. The type of unbearable exhaustion where you fall asleep on the toilet and sneakily nod off while your child is reading “Corduroy” to you for the 678,467th time today!! Please understand that all of that Great intention we had to make it to your housewarming just got flushed down the toilet as Soon as we sat down in one spot!
  3. We DON’T HAVE A BABYSITTER!!! Contrary to popular belief and practices, there are seriously only like two people in the Entire Universe, outside of ourselves, that we will allow to keep our children! Yes, we continuously crack jokes about how people can “come and get them” but ummmm, not so much! If those two individuals aren’t available, we will All stay at home! Period. There is NO outing serious enough to hound somebody to watch our children, or sacrifice their safety Just to say we attended the hottest night out of the year. Fail! That’s why we both went to college and had a whole lot of fun and got that all out of our systems! We don’t feel guilty or as if we’re missing out on anything. Sorry, but Not sorry.
  4. If ONE of us can’t attend, nine times out of ten NEITHER of us will attend!!! This is a hard one for people to understand, and we’ve lost friendships over the concept. We are Married. We are not pals, boyfriend & girlfriend, or side buddies. We are a union. A team. We make our appearances together in the situations that call for it. This isn’t really negotiable. If hubby is sick and shut in, so am I, and vice-versa. Of course this doesn’t apply to the token Girl’s or Guy’s Night Out. We respect each other’s individualized socialization. I’m referring to the things we are Both hoped to be in attendance for. This also applies to situations where one spouse may think/know that the crowd at a certain event is questionable. Again, nothing personal against You, but we choose not to put ourselves in awkward or obviously drama-filled situations when we don’t have to!
  5. We actually DO have a FINANCIAL BUDGET and PRIORITIES!!! Not to rain on the parade of your $100/meal dinner party, but this week’s automatic tuition debiting from the Chase account, and the Costco diaper/wipe stock-up will probably hold a higher level of importance for us. I can cook you a fabulous meal, serve you a wonderful glass of wine, play some classic jazz tunes, and indulge you in the ambiance of my Own darn home! All for under $200. We still Love You though! 🙂
  6. WE JUST DON’T WANT TO GO!!! Yep, it sounds rude as hell, a bit pretentious, and will probably cause our invites to dwindle in the near future, but it’s Honest. The very few times that we actually get alone, we just want to enjoy each other! We still DO enjoy each other and we aren’t going to apologize for that. Sometimes we even just want to be left alone as a family with our boys and just relax.

Now all of this isn’t to say that we don’t like you, are trying to purposely be douche bags, or ‘unsupportive’. But we are humans! We want people to Overstand that. We love and appreciate all of friends and family, but guess what?? WE come First…and we Don’t want you to take that personal!

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1,565 thoughts on “6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

  1. Note to self: upon blogging about my husband and children remember my opinion, personal views, thoughts and every word will be misinterpreted and quite possibly be DISECTED, REWORDED and INTERPRETED by a random person/psychic as though I had written it in a FOREIGN LANGUAGE…..
    run-on sentences do apply here.😳

    Liked by 1 person

    • Of course all of this is fine and your choice. However, when someone in your circle dies don’t you even dare to pretend they were important to you and place yourself as bereaved.

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    • I can totally understand being a mother and wife im married raised 10 children and three stepchildren. Oldest now 30 so i still have the younger four at home i understand where you’re coming. From some times friends and family think you can just drop everything like you really dont have responsibilities i was just like you if i didnt have my mother or sister to watch them i wouldnt go people are turning this story around in some instances it might have came out rude .but i know it out of frustration people of course get sick and they get tired even. Those who aren’t married or childless what they fail to realize they can rest and relax but when you have kids and youre not feeling well we have to suck it up and still do our duties as mom .
      And wife stay strong as your kids get older gatherings will be much easier to go to function

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  2. WOW. I’ve had the same bf since high school and now I’m about to graduate college, so of course marriage is a topic nowadays but I’ve been against it. Mainly bc I don’t want to get comfortable and boring. No offense to any black women, bc I’m black. My grandfather raised me and he raised me with a white grandmother and one of his reasons for marrying a white woman is bc they don’t get comfortable and boring like black women. And I’m black so I can say it, YES this is true!! But I’ve never seen it firsthand be declared by the woman. This post is depressing. Marriage isn’t suppose to be about living locked up with your husband and kids and not having a social life. You said people aren’t wanna come to you and your husbands events bc of this, but think about your kids too. If your kids have a bday party or something do you really think parents are gon wanna send they kids to play with kids who parents dont do anything but stay at home and don’t go out to any social events?! I know I wouldn’t bc I would think your socially messed up and I wouldn’t want me or my kids around that.

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    • Please don’t let my post depress you doll…I’m not depressed. If you can’t attend our event, then that’s that. We move on with life and still love you the same. You have a Great evening!

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      • I believe that reader took your blog way out of context. Your blog was honest and true. It is opposite of what she said! Depressing? I find it refreshing. My husband and I Have a saying “everything we do, we do together”. We make the decisions on what to attend, how to spend our money, and what decisions are best for our family. It’s beautiful to see a couple who put their spouse first. When that unity is so strong the entire family will be of benefit. Socializing is very important but most important is the family dynamic. I don’t think it’s boring or socially compromising. It is going to make you a successful, strong, admirable family. May you continue to be blessed with the knowledge that some will just never get. 😍❤️

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    • First, I’m not sure what any of this has to do with skin color. Second, some of us who are married with children are very happy and love our families dearly and they truly are our favorite people to hang out with. Time and energy are limited comodidties and it’s not only OK but it’s important to value that and remember priorities. We have so much fun as a family, it’s not boring or a negative thing at all. I happen to think it’s really healthy. We enjoy other people’s company too but family time and family needs come first.

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    • Omg stop! If you don’t enjoy spending time with your husband and kids more than your “social life” than you’re married to the wrong person! Your social life changes, you no longer dress like a thot and go to clubs, but if it’s a big event like a Bachelorette party or milestone bday you’ll try your best to be there! There are social events where you can bring your kids and there will be other parents there, who you end up becoming friends with! You’re not locked up, you’re with the people you love the most! Being a parent is the most unselfish thing you can do and the rewards are hard to describe to someone who doesn’t know what it feels like to see your husband as a father. Huge turn on. I’m not sure what “socially messed up” is but I’m sure it’s not as important as being “racially messed up” because I’m white as shit and that is the most racist messed up thing i ever read. Heels are not practical while cooking dinner and chasing a toddler around, no matter how unboring your sexy apron is. News flash, white mothers and wives are comfortable and boring too, it’s called being a good mom and it’s how I plan to keep my daughters off the pole!

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    • Don’t know how this became a race thing. It’s totally a personality thing. I know several Black married women who socialize, always doing different things with friends and their husbands. They are more social than some single women we know (white and black). And this person I think she wasn’t saying she never wants to do stuff just on current occasions she just don’t feel like it and here are the reasons. But me being married with children I can’t say I feel the same as she does. I very much always out and about and we have been together for 18yrs. And never a dull moment.

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      • No clue how race came in but the poster lost me with poor grammar. “Parents are gon wanna send they kids to play” had me write off any opinion she may have. Please use proper grammar when posting or nobody will take you seriously.

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    • You stated you are about to graduate from college. I assumed this to be a four year college/university. I know first hand the importance of reading comprehension throughout school so please go back and re-read her blog. Your thoughts are totally off from what she stated. You attempted to re-write her thoughts which were very, very clearly stated. Maybe once you are married with children you will understand what she blogged about. And just for the record, it is NOT a race thing. Sorry your grandfather gave you that reason for marrying a white woman.

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    • My Dear Shay,

      “….and now I am about to graduate college” says it all. You see, I was once “about to graduate college” and I was going out every, yes, every night. I was turning 9 out of 10 men’s heads (and some women’s too) and life was amazing and exciting and I felt sorry for my poor boring parents who were getting into bed at 10 pm while I was primping to go out. But there is a time for every season in life, and while I was doing that, you were a little baby taking naps, watching Barney and going to bed early.
      But time changes our wants, needs and desires and so twenty years ago, I couldn’t wait to go out and you needed a nap… now you can’t wait to go out and I need a nap. And that is OK. And in twenty years, you will understand what I mean.
      I am now the poor boring mom who is falling asleep at 10 after I’ve driven my baby to his middle school dance, answered my 4 year old’s questions all day, helped my high schooler with his homework, cooked and cleaned up after endless meals and so on. It is now my children’s turn to have fun and my turn to be tired. I don’t want to be the mom who is still partying. I know some of those and they are not very good moms. You do not need to feel sorry for me, because being me now is every bit of fun as being me was twenty years ago, it is just a different kind of fun.
      I also want to tell you that you are gorgeous and lovely and to have fun while you are in your twenties, because it does not last forever (even though it seems like it will). Maybe you will marry, maybe you will stay single and I wish you all the best either way.
      P.S I’m white

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    • When adults decide to parent, they often forgo activities outside the ho!me. It’s called PRIORITY. I applaud the post, am saddened that it was even necessary. Shay, please keep your contraception handy; djndevin is handling Motherhood.

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    • you attend college? which one? I want to make sure I don’t send my children there.
      as for your comment. you obviously are not mature enough to understand this couple’s plight. they’re not unsocial, they’re a loving couple with children that most times can’t do what single people can do. one day you will understand, until then, brush up on your writing skills.

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    • it’s not that you don’t have a social life anymore….your priorities for your social life change. Most likely, when you marry and have children, your social circle will become married couples with children. you will do family friendly things with those friends. you still have fun, you just do it with a different crowd and in a different way. it’s not boring and comfortable at all……okay, it might be comfortable, but I’d rather be comfortable than UNcomfortable. Kids are a lot of things, boring is not one of them =D

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    • As someone who is just about to graduate college I think you should get a little more life experience before commenting on this type of subject. Clearly your level of maturity doesn’t allow you to understand the context of this post. It is not meant to be depressing but it sheds light on typical occurrences and very realistic issues that occur and cause changes in plans. Not once did I read that they NEVER go anywhere and and have no social life at all. Grow up and experience what it’s like to have a family of your own and then maybe you will be able to relate to such.

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    • Just because you’re black, it doesn’t mean that making stereotypical comments about blacks is okay.
      In fact, it is even worse because you have clearly internalized racism and white supremacy. I am also a black woman and I am completely disgusted by your comments about YOUR OWN BLACK SISTERS. Become more conscious and stop disparaging your own! Do you honestly think that only black women become boring when they get married? If you do, you are very ignorant and naive.

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  3. This is an interesting post, not just the topic but the tone and how it’s written. I say this because it reminded me of this Huffington Post story I came across last year, Once We Become Parents We Don’t Want to Hang Out With You Anymore (But Not for the Reasons You Think) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-skoutelas/once-we-become-parents-we-dont-want-to-hang-out-with-you-anymore-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-think_b_5270148.html. The author says among others things “Basically, when it comes to friendships, parents of young children are forced to hunker down and encase themselves in a protective cocoon in order to preserve their energy, like some spore that can withstand the harshest of elements. Don’t give up on us — we’ll emerge and thrive again, once conditions are right. In the meantime, if you are not deterred, let us know if you want to come over at 7 a.m. for breakfast. That’s when we are at our peak.” That’s what’s missing here. There’s no notion of the importance of friendships and how the the author wants to keep the friendships but wants her friends to know “…here’s what’s going on…but I still want to spend time and I need you to understand” Whether you agree with the author’s points or not, it’s easy to miss some of the credibility in what’s she saying because there’s such a strong aura of condescension and an overall attitude of “You’re my friend but I don’t care about you. Please don’t take it personal.” Sinus headaches, exhaustion and car batteries aren’t totally reserved for couples married with children, but I wish they were (LOL). And while I’m 100 percent supportive of my friends with children and will never fault them for missing anything I invite them to, it goes a long way to know that they care about me. And if perhaps I wasn’t 100 percent supportive, someone saying these things wouldn’t necessarily get me to that 100 percent stage.

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    • Beautiful comment. I noticed the author doesn’t respond to eloquent positive comments that aren’t necessarily in par with her opinion. She only responds to complimentary ones with a “thanks girl!” Or “my thoughts exactly!” And responds to the negative ones by killing them with “kindness” instead of having a dialogue and open conversation about our differences. The negative tone in this article cannot be denied.

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      • Never used ANY of those quotations you mentioned, and I’ve actually responded to both negative and positive posts….SO, what exactly is it that YOU want to “dialogue” about Ms. Veronica??? 🙂

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      • Ok. Let’s keep it real for just a second or two. I certainly am not going to quote you since you’ve responded to a number of the comments, but there’s certainly a pattern in your responses when someone is responding to you with support vs. someone responding to you in disagreement. And I think everyone can agree that this topic is certainly hitting home for everyone whether they agree with what you’ve said or they don’t. I think what Veronica may have be trying to say (and feel free to correct me Veronica) is that with topics like these, even when people disagree, it may be worthwhile to try and see where they are coming from and vice versa. If we’re truly honest here, it can be easy to get offended by the post. I am completely empathetic to my friends with children and would never hold it against them when life happens and they can’t come to an event. I understand. If you can’t make my $100 birthday dinner or work promotion celebration at Fogo De Chao, for example, that’s ok. What I wouldn’t find ok is for a friend to down that because they want to put their money somewhere else, which is completely ok, and suggest they only they are focused on saving money. And I’d be just as wrong if I were to down buying my friend that $100 whirlpool tub for their baby because I want to put my money elsewhere.

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    • I don’t social as much with friends like I used to but I still make time for my friends and family!!!! If kids allow I bring my girl. If not, then I work something out. Of course sometimes I don’t go and stay home. I love weddings and bday parties. I want my girl to social with others. Staying home all the time can be boring for me!!! Everyone is different I know. I have friends who have more than one child and they like to keep busy too. We do play dates etc. it’s great!!! Staying home is good too. It’s called balance.

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  4. That’s awesome! I couldn’t agree more. Would you mind sharing which theme you use? I’m trying to get started but I can’t seem to find a theme that works well with mobile devices. I ran across yours and it displays wonderfully. Thanks and keep up up the good work!

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  5. After having been married for 34 years and having raised two children;now 31 and 29, I totally agree with your synopsis. Your spouse became your best friend and all other titles and your children are far above all other Contacts and fall between your hubby and self. Along those lines further education and family things dead set PRIORITIES! !!!!! You will appreciate dedication to the. Priorities when you see the Harvest which my husband and now greatly enjoy. They are best friends for travel, etc. Can’t wait for wedding bells and Grands!!!! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!

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  6. This blog is so silly to me. None of this is specific to being married or having kids. You don’t think single/childless people get sick? Or tired? Or have bills to pay? Or family obligations? No one in their right mind would hold it against you for not coming to a function if you have a sinus infection whether they are parents or not. If anyone does hold it against you it was probably because you were rude about it. This whole post was just a huge justification as to why your life is more important because you have kids. Like I said, none of this is specific to people who are mariried/have children.

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    • Hi Meesh, I don’t think I ever specifically said anything about “single/childless” individuals. A LOT of you are putting extra words into my post, lol. I actually sympathize with Anyone who has an issue where they can’t attend an event. Don’t be so quick to charge…get a bette understanding first! Thanks for your input!

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      • It’s in your first reason. That’s what people are reacting to the childless comment.

        “1. We have KIDS!!! I know. I know. This one is too easy and a lot of people are tired of hearing it. However, I feel like most Need to! Especially those who do Not have kids. While we still love you, we also need you to know that you have NO idea the strange ish that randomly occurs in a household with children. A temperature that’s 2 degrees over the norm, or a baby whining because of a missed nap can drastically curve Mommy and Daddy’s care about meeting up for drinks and chatter!”

        There are many times when I can’t go at the last minute because momma is having a bad day/night, bad episode, in excruciating pain or I am in pain or have worked 50 or more hours that week and am exhausted. I suffer from chronic pain and one of those invisible illnesses where it doesn’t look like I’m sick or in pain but I am. I have gotten called out by friends who don’t understand (one of whom is my ex-husband. that’s why he’s an ex). So I get it. I really do. And yes my free time is spent with my SO mostly cause we both have crazy schedules/lives. And I have had friends not understand that either (even when I was married before he showed his true colors).

        But the “you don’t have children, you won’t understand” sentiment in number 1 is what some are reacting too especially the “Especially those who do Not have kids. While we still love you, we also need you to know that you have NO idea the strange ish that randomly occurs in a household with children”. I wish I could have a successful completion to a pregnancy but i can’t. But I do get how hectic life can be.

        And I have had friends bail and cancel because of significant others or children and I don’t hold them to blame. I get it. We just make plans for another time. Or I will bring “dinner” to them or come over and cook (and sometimes even help clean or entertain the kids so the parents can get a “nap”). Or let my friends with kids come use my washer and dryer just so they can get a “break” for a few hours and have some “alone/free” moments/time.

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      • So I fail to see the point of this post. Who goes to a party with a sinus infection? Who pays $100 for dinner when they’re low on money? Who doesn’t make time for they’re significant other, married or not? None of this is specific to you.

        And what Ronnie said.

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    • Thank you Meesh I thought I was the only one. Im single in my 30’s and I don’t have kids and I have two jobs. I hate when married people w/kids make it seem like the world is only theirs. I personally don’t care if you do or don’t make the event but don’t try to use your “busy” life as an excuse when there are others out their who are just as busy without kids. If I had a big event and had a couple RSVP and they didn’t show I would be pissed especially if I pay per plate for the event. If the excuse is “Im busy, etc” then Im done they don’t have to worry about being invited to anything I would ever have again. With articles like this I just roll my eyes and carry on. First and last time commenting or reading this blog. Happy Trails.

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    • I believe that you and other people are totally overlooking the point of this post. You make it seem as though she just woke up one day and decided create a post that doesn’t mean anything. Just as you think that people wouldn’t hold it against her for not getting over a sickness or a responsibility, their are people on the other side of the game that will. Without even considering the lives of those that they’re inviting. She had to have experienced some kind of hardship from someone if she’s up writing about it. And I must say that it baffles me that you dare bring up single and childless people. Yes, we know that they, too, have their own hard pressed obligations, but this post is not about them.
      At least attempt to allow the message and true intent go to your head instead of over it. Everyone isn’t out to offend their readers as much they are wanting the world around them to simply understand.

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    • I completely agree. I’m married and cannot have children and I’m so sick of women thinking my time is not as valuable because I’m not a mom. Your blog sounded a little degrading towards people who don’t have kids. Maybe you didn’t mean it to come across that way, but it did.

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  7. Love It! And that is totally us’ ( hubby and I ). And I truly enjoy’ my kids and his company. Love my friends, sorors, and family, but I love peace of mind and a few extra dollars more in our account. Great blog

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  8. I’m single and without kids, but pretty understanding of my married friends with kids and the obligations that brings along. I have a ton of non-child having friends (couples and singles), so they’re always up for going out. And, luckily, all my married, parent friends love to go out with each other and without, so I actually see them more now than when their relationships were new. It seems like their own identities and friendships are really important to them as they are the ones that make the effort to make plans sans partners and kids to go out.

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    • This is Such a well-written constructive comment and I completely agree with you! I do think as one’s life and lifestyles change, so should your circle. I don’t ditch my friends. I love them! I also have a heck of a life here on the home front too! Thank You for your positivity!!

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  9. For a mom that is soooo busy, she certainly has time to write multiple blog posts and respond to comments on here.

    I write a regular blog myself. They take a lot of time. You must have a different amount of hours in the day than other people.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. It’s “take it personally” not “personal.” This is a glaring grammatical error that appears in both the title and the body of your recent blog post. Hope you don’t take this correction personally. 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Maybe I read this all wrong? Maybe it’s the way I interpreted the meaning based on my own experiences? To me the writer was providing the valid reasons they would miss an event. In my experience, when we receive an invite, we are genuinely excited to spend time with friends, so yes we RSVP’d – but then, I believe the writer said something like “life happened” and now a decision to place an unrealistic priority on a social function over family? Come on, really? Their priorities never changed, and were likely disappointed that they missed your dinner party, but if something changes be it the babysitter, a bad day, sick child – why would you want me @ your event? Why wouldn’t you “my friend” be supportive of my family’s needs? Is my absence going to destroy your reputation or is it the extra bag of chips that’s now gone to waste? Our children are grown, so now the reasons are different, when my husband is ill, I will be at his side – there is nothing more important – as we get older, those precious moments out weigh our friends. I don’t normally comment as I won’t engage in hateful rants – and I know some will strongly disagree with my opinion – to that I say: So what – my opinion, much like yours is simply different, no sense getting your panties in a bunch!

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    • I agree with you …I enjoyed the read and can totally relate maybe because I have a 9 yr old and a toddler. We love being invited to things but sometimes we just can’t go and honestly these 6 reasons pretty much touch on the reason why. But I’m with you if you don’t agree with the blog posted then move on sheesh internet thugs no need to attack on a blog post. Anyway, back to the post it was fun, funny and I can relate. I look forward to reading more!

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  12. I’m not married. Don’t plan to be in the future…but I get it. This is normal HUMAN response to not being able to attend an event, RSVP’d or not. I’m sure you intended to go or you wouldn’t have went through the trouble of clicking ‘RSVP’ just for sh!ts and giggles.

    The word ‘NO’ is hard to say for some. Not me. At least not anymore…but for some strange reason I cannot wrap my head around why an explanation is desired or required if I choose not to attend…in the beginning, in between or at the end.
    Making one feel bad for not making an appearance – regardless of the reason – is petty.

    I have no small children, but I get tired. Of work. Of my co-workers. Of my mailbox full of bills. Of my thighs rubbing. Of my unit manager. Of my wig not staying put. Of LIFE!!! If I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, trust me, I’m SOOOOO not the person you want to show up to your $100/meal dinner party. My attitude alone would burn the restaurant to the ground.
    But the sad part is….
    If I were to show up with baby poop on my dress, rubbing my itchy & watery eyes, sniffling, sneezing, husband signing back up & my boys in tow…there go the whispers, sniggling, gossiping…”girrrl, she should have stayed at home, now I’m gone be sick….”
    Or…”Why didn’t she just stay home with them kids girl…her husband could have stayed home with them!”

    Well damn, make MY MIND UP since you clearly can’t make up yours!!! You didn’t want us to miss your blessed event and my RSVP to your 3rd divorce party to go to waste…SO I SHOW UP….EITHER WAY YOU WOULD HAVE SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO SAY….

    So yes, bravissima!!!!! Since you can’t see me, I just curtsied…thank you for making ADULT sacrifices and LIFE CHOICES to not abandon your children with the questionable Uncle or leave your husband alone with the boys so the house can look like a cyclone went through it for YOU to clean when you get home….JUST to say “I was there!”

    *steps off soapbox*

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  13. I don’t agree with her because I am someone who works hard and takes care of a home and am not a mother. To me that does not make me inferior. Just because I don’t have children doesn’t mean I don’t have “priorities!” I agree with the people that commented on her blog because she sounds like a jackass! Telling people her budget is more important than a single person! First and foremost that single person took time out to go to your baby shower, your children’s first birthday, their christening, their baptisms, the gender reveal, and even the damn name picking party! Your fucken kid lost his first tooth cake Having ass sent me an invite and we single people went to that too not because we had “free time” but because we cared! And trust me there’s more things us children less people would rather do than attend a kids birthday party since we have NO KIDS! But we go because we wouldn’t miss it in the world because we love you and that child! And God forbid we don’t rsvp to that child’s party that parent will think you are the worst friend imaginable and “will take it personal!” #tellthemehyyoumadbrittney I personally don’t care if you are a parent or not! If I am paying per person and I paid for you and your family to attend an event ur ass better be there because 9 out of 10 times I sent that invite in advance and if u didn’t have a babysitter then, then u should have never rsvped yes! Now if you have the pink eye, some contagious virus, you were rushed to the hospital, there was a death in the family, the baby got sick, well then of course I would understand but because u felt tired, uhmmm bitch get YOUR priorities straight and gain some time management skills because the Same way it’s my choice not to have children yet, you made a choice to have your babies. And as a single woman I love all of my friends and family members kids and I gladly attend and make time for them and if I can’t go I let them know not to waste their time and money and hope they understand as well. It’s called being considerate and compassionate! Don’t feel entitled!

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    • I am also single and I feel like this too… like we are lesser people because we don’t have children. I have always wondered about my friends who have small children now if by the time I have mine they would go to all the events or would just be tired of that since they already went through them. I have attended countless birthday parties, school functions, gym competitions, christenings, etc and I do so because I love my friends and their children but I really can help but wonder if they’ll do the same for me.

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      • I’m on the verge of tears over here thinking that im just an asshole for feeling this way, only to find out I’m not alone.

        …i listen to your kids scream and fight and piss and moan…I give up MY free time to spend it with you and your kids but yet “you” can’t be arsed to suffer an imposition to spend time with me doing something that I want (and no, it isn’t partying because I don’t do that. I usually just want to go out to eat or sit at my place instead of yours). Most of us all are fighting an uphill battle, regardless of whether or not we have kids.

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    • Well damn… You sound like someone who probably can’t have children, can’t keep a man around LONG enough to have children, or your just bitter as hell!!!!! I thought at one point you felt this was about you!!! Girl have several seats somewhere cause until you adopt a child and have to actually care for someone other than your self you will NEVER understand.. Idgaf.. I said it.. Y’all were thinking it.. Good night.. I have to lay up under my husband now.. XOXO

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    • Sometimes budget is more important than your event. Don’t think that we don’t want to be there but sometimes we run out of money because kids are expensive, diapers, formula, medicine, clothing, etc. As for being tired how about this priority.. you have a small child who will not sleep for a week straight or who wakes up every 2 hours for a feeding and diaper and then wants to play or maybe a 2 year old who thinks it’s fun to stay up all night and play. This equates to tired and if you aren’t doing these things (waking up every 2 hrs or staying up all night several nights in a row with a fussy kid) then you don’t understand parents who are tired.
      Since you don’t have kids you aren’t using a babysitter. I have sent rsvps for events, gotten a babysitter and then waited 2-4 weeks until your event. The day comes I’m excited, getting things ready and then the babysitter says she can’t watch my kids. So I call everyone I can think of and no one is available, what should I do? Show up with my kids? Leave them home alone? Sorry things happen, if you really cared about someone and their “fucken” kid, you would be a little more understanding.
      My children are my FIRST priority and always will be and I’m positive I can manage my time better than someone who is single and childless. I have to manage time for 4 people in my house, singles have to manage 1…

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    • This is hilarious! I’m a mom and laughed more reading your comment then the entire post. I think it comes down to people’s individual personalities, what they consider priorities and how committed they are to their friends and family. You always got that one friend or family member with some kind of excuse…. Every time, sounds like the writer is that person.

      Liked by 2 people

  14. Sorry, but no. Not Okay. Completely in agreement with you re casual get-togethers. But if someone has received your acceptance to their RSVP event *and* paid for your meal/ticket/whatever made the RSVP process necessary, you need to be in genuinely dire circumstances before its remotely “okay” to bail. If, for no other reason (putting aside the hurt they will deny feeling), you are forcing them to have spent their money unnecessarily. Often, the intensity of the raising-tiny-people phase of life can skew perceptions. This stage of life is, simply put, tremendously difficult. It literally takes all you’ve got. Loving friends will realize that parents of the infant to pre-k set are apt to flake. Loving friends with kids will forgive based on true understanding; loving friends without kids, well, the fact they forgive sans true understanding is what makes them loving friends. But bailing on an RSVP-event requires forgiveness on your friends’ part. In a few years, when all of the kids are older, the author is quite likely to look back on this blog and cringe. In advance, I say, cringe a little, but not too much. All parents have been where you are now. We can even understand the state of mind which allowed you to post this blog. But, for your own and your kids’ sake (modeling best practices for life being a primary part of parenthood), try, really really hard, to make other people’s RSVP’d Big Events. It will show the kids the importance you attach to other people’s feelings, a priceless lesson. Hang in there, it sounds like you are doing many things right 🙂

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    • I guess I just don’t understand the posts,about how hard it is to raise kids. I raised two kids by myself and yes at times it was difficult financially or even physically because working a full-time job and,raising kids can be tricky even with 2 parents but most people are making it sound like you live in a war-torn country lol. I guess I was blessed because I never felt like most of the people on her are stating they do. Was I tired at the end of a work day? DUH, IT’S WORK! Kids or no kids we are tired after a long day. Did I have financial problems? Uh yes! Again just like people without kids do too. I cherished every moment I had raising my kids, I never left my friends or family hanging for things I RSVP’D FOR. If by chance an emergency arose at the last minute, I personally called (no text or email) and explained and if it was something that cost them money I not only sent a gift for the occasion but reimbursement for what I cost them. It’s very simply just a matter of manners and let’s face it, the world is sorely lacking in this aspect.

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    • I hear what y’all saying but I don’t what she said to any offense. First of its her blog so it’s her opinion. Not for once did she say or interprert that she was inferior to childless or single ppl. I’m not married but I do have a girlfriend that is the mother to our beautiful 6 month year old. The past year I’ve missed social gatherings for either my child or girlfriend but my child’s well being is well far more important than any thing on this earth. One thing that you childless ppl aren’t understanding from what I’ve read is the love that one has for a child. Ima New parent and my child is my world. And If she has the slightest of sniffle I’m checking her out forget about whatever else . I expect my friends that are married with children or just have children to miss things because RSVP or not and if you paid money on NY behalf for it ahead of time all you gotta do is say that and money will be refunded, but leaving my child sick at home with someone I’m not comfortable isn’t an option and that’s what yall should respect. Respect her thoughts if you feel differently make your own blog based on your opinions. She never attacked anyone or belittled anyone . Some of us on here I see need to grow up and get out their feelings. No one opinions is greater than another !

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    • Pammy you’re hilarious! I’m a mom and laughed more reading your comment then the entire post. I think it comes down to people’s individual personalities, what they consider priorities and how committed they are to their friends and family. You always got that one friend or family member with some kind of excuse…. Every time. Sounds like the writer is that person.

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  15. O.K. everybody, pause, take a deep breath, now, personally, I wouldn’t expect a young couple with kids to hang that much anyway, unless they have a live in nanny. When I left college we were all struggling, this blogger stated they have two people they trusted, there were none for me, my daughter is 14 and she just did her first overnighter. Lastly, I don’t know what sacrifices the people that attended my life events made and that’s when my friends have theirs, some you just can’t, but I do everything in my power to return our mutual friendship.

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  16. Capital letters are for proper nouns, beginning of sentences etc, They are not for random use or to emphasize things (if that is what you were trying to do.) It makes this hard to read.

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  17. I agree with your whole article and I don’t even have any kids however full time job as a counselor (cognitively demanding) plus full time business school mean I rarely RSVP to invitations because I just want to sleep!

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  18. Whew! This post was great and hilarious! But boy are the comments exhausting! My husband actually emailed me this post and couldn’t wait for me to read this! He said that I would be able to relate 100%! I found this post open, honest, and quite funny! I think the lady who wrote this is a very great mom and wife! Please everyone, allow some humor in your life! Let your hair down a little! I think it’s sad that this post got up under your skin so much that some felt a need to write 100 paragraphs. My husband and I can totally relate! We don’t make a habit of RSVPing to events and not attending stuff but with our 3 kids and busy life the unexpected does happen! We are so sorry if some take it personal but life happens to us, and life also happens to others we invite to our events which we completely understand! Girl, keep this blogging pushing and please ignore people who take life WAY to serious. You gained a follower! This is a blog post guys not the end of the world or a presidential speech! Geez! Lol!

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  19. Reading this blog ring bells…. I’ve lost friends because of life challenges which prevented attendance to their life’s event(s). Sometimes people, mostly women, fail to realize that ..ish really does happen!! You’re so right that sometimes you do just want to enjoy your partner. Furthermore, couples should attend couples events (you’re not single looking for Mr. Right…). I wouldn’t encourage my husband to revert to single life either for the sake of some party. Balancing friends, family, work, and personal time (me time) will always be an issue because so few people truly relate to priorities. Just reading the responses I can guess who would pay their bills after they factor in that function. Keep doing you. Family first, but don’t forget to enjoy your marriage as well. TRUE FRIENDS WILL DEFINITELY UNDERSTAND!

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  20. LOL! I have 5 Children & trust me, I know the feeling. My Husband & I are tired, stressed, on a tight budget & deal with cranky children everyday however, I have never used that as an excuse to not attend an event that we were invited to especially, for people who are very important to us. If you know ahead of time then, you plan for it financially just like you do with your monthly bills. Trade that Costco diaper budget in for a Walmart budget to save where you can & save the excuses. If you are this way with 2 kids, I’d hate to see you in my shoes…you’d probably die! You can be lazy or, full of excuses. Pick one.

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  21. I’m single and financially stable and I chose work over starting a fanily in my mid 20s. I have many friends that went the other direction. I understand that things with them will come up so I dont invite them when I have plans except for really important events. It costs me money and and theres better than 50/50 they dont show. Now they get mad and say that I dont ever invite them and its very frustrating to me when they say Just because I have kids doesnt mean Im dead and can never come out. Then I invite them and they dont show and it costs me time/energy. There excuse being I dont understand bc I dont have kids. I know you see this from your side of the street but ours has a valid point as well. The only part of your article I really disagree with is the either of us cant make it neither do. Not because of the premise bit because of the exception, girls and guys night out? Is that really more important than sharing an important life event with a close friend? Seems to me that if you can go out with your friends for ladies night then you should be able to show up solo to one of those friends events. Not trying to be negative just what popped out to me. Be interested to hear your honest thoughts. Thanks!

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  22. As a single person I can tell you that upon reading this I just felt like, wow, is this really what it’s like to be married and have kids? If so, I would seriously reconsider it. Then I read some of the comments and just gave a sigh of relief when I read JennP’s comments explaining her process to attend events which sounds logical to me. Thanks for that!

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  23. That article is condescending and rude. Have fun in your bubble. (to the author, not the poster) if that’s how flippant you are about being included in important events, you don’t deserve to be invited. Everyone knows things come up but to devote an article to how little you give a crap is truly classless

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  24. Highly entertained by the post and comments. It’s apparent that the art of debate is lost on some people with the comments turning quite disrespectful. Do I agree with everything said? No. I found many of the reasons to be not just related to parenthood (tired, budget, don’t want to etc) and I think a missed opportunity in sharing some of the truly crazy things that you only experience as a parent. But this blog did it’s job and got people talking. Bravo on that!

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  25. SIgh… Ok, girl. This is so sanctimonious and self righteous. You have kids. Great. You’re married. Congrats. YAWN…. I’m willing to bet you had a bridal shower, a wedding, a baby shower and all kinds of things surrounding your life events that people came to and bought gifts for. And they did, happily. How rude and selfish to act as if your life is so much more important and your time is so much more valuable that you actually seem annoyed that they want you to know support their events. I am willing to bet my life that people spent a few hundred on celebrating you. I am sure your friends support your marriage and wouldn’t try to do anything to jeopardize it. That whole “we make appearances together”…. girl… your marriage, your rules.. but that was probably one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read. Going to someones event without a spouse shouldn’t put your marriage asunder. If it does, the event was not the problem. Putting your family first is important no matter if you’re married or not. It’s just good practice. But it’s also good practice to continue to nurture your outside relationships too. I’ve seen this a million times. People get married and have kids. They alienate their friends. Something happens. They need said friends. Friends oblige, but with massive side eye… because…well.. you get it. I seriously hope that never happens and y’all remain happily antisocial. Good luck with that..

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  26. I cannot believe some of the comments! Haters! All I have to say is “Preach girl!” I feel the exact same way. Thank God all of my friends have children and we all understand each other! When you said you only allow 2 people to watch your children I was like “YES!” My friends who have children have siblings and multiple sets of grandparents to help out. We have my mom and his mom and that is it so it can be hard to get a night away and when we do we want to spend it alone together! Thank you for writing everything you did, I enjoyed reading it and my husband and I feel the exact same as you and yours! Yes my husband agrees people as I am sure hers does as well! Thanks again!

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  27. If life/kids are too much for you then stop RSVPing yes to events, its that simple. If you cancel an event cuz a kid got diarrhea or you are tired then why even say yes in the first place? You are rude, self righteous people.

    BTW: If youre always so busy and tired with kids and life how do you manage time to write a blog?

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    • Um, if a kid has diarrhea, trust me NOBODY wants you to go to a party and pass that shit (literally) on. Stay the eff home if you are sick! And sorry (not sorry!) that is not something that you can really plan for. Sometimes you have GREAT intentions and your kid wakes you up at 2 am and keeps you up till 4 am, then kid #2 wakes you up at 6 am. If you’ve never been there, then well, STFU.

      Ah, blog writing with kids. That’s the wonder of writing a blog, if you happen to wake up at 5 am, or have insomnia at 1 am, when normal people are sleeping and there’s no party to attend, you can write. Funny thing that.

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    • Okay. You clearly don’t have children and should stop speaking now. They RSVP “YES” with the intention of going. Then life happens. Kids get sick, car batteries die or they are BEYOND exhausted. What was once a great idea, has suddenly turned into a nightmare trying to attend. Stop judging and if you disagree with the post KEEP SCROLLING!

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      • They RSVP yes but they are child obsessed and find any reason to not go. They give up easy. They are weak people that will raise weak children in a gynocentric household. Of course is a kid has the stomach flu you will stay home, I was not referring to that, merely a run or two of diarrhea.

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  28. Why are people so rude? I don’t understand. When you have kids come back and read the blog. She isn’t saying she is above those without kids. Kids just put a whole new level of perspective on your world. You are not only responsible for yourself, but now you have 1,2, or 3 little lives you are responsible for. The stress is high along with maintaining a marriage and career. Things happen, life happens! We all have struggled. Whether you RSVP and go or not go, it all comes back. When you have kids, you plan and spend money on their birthday parties. Guess what…people who RSVP’d don’t show and those who didn’t RSVP show up. It happens to us all. Everything costs money and time. We know this!

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  29. Ha! My God! I had to comment on this wonderful, obviously hated post! 😀 it’s funny how the people without kids or with kids who are comfortable with their social lives. I have 3 kids and a husband, try finding a babysitter on a budget for “3kids” or fit the only one person who we can trust! Are y’all really talking her post seriously, some of y’all need to seek counseling. This is a personal blog, you don’t have to agree with this woman’s “self-expression”. I totally agree 100 with this post. What people fail to realize is that people with children do miss out a lot. We can’t just jump up and go, even if we do, accidents happen! We forget the diapers, wiped, sippy cup, infants and toddlers have blow outs at the drop of a dime! Seriously people, if you can’t relate, go read a post that draws interest to you. And go see a counselor she’s not trying to solve your problems, she’s steaming, because she wanted to make those events for sure, but could not. She wanted to express in her own way how she still loves others, but accepts her role before play. Stop being jealous she knows who she is and her place within her family, and while y’all hating and being miserable she’s blessed! Let’s grow up, and get counseling if you need to because it is quite embrassing to make a fool out of yourself on social “media” by taking things out of context revealing your personal issues! Be blessed!

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      • Your welcome! This is a great post, as you see the responses and the amount of energy people are taking to take it out of context, is quite hilarious. I enjoyed it while parenting😉 LMBO! Loved it, have a blessed night wonderful!

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    • And there it is… the obligatory “jealous” and “hating”. What is it that we are jealous about, exactly? Hating on what? To be honest, you all make parenthood sound awful. Life is about choices. Barring fertility issues, any woman on this blog can get pregnant whenever she decides. The vast majority of us aren’t parents simply because we don’t choose to be right now. And if you’re in your 30’s, you’ve spent a great deal of energy on making sure it doesn’t happen until you’re ready. Perhaps you need a bit of this counseling that you continue toreference.. May help you figure out why you’re locked in your teens and using juvenile vernacular to try discredit people with a differing opinion.

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    • You can’t be serious? Counseling? Hating? On what? This writer is married with 2 kids. She’s not in a lab finding a cure for cancer. 2 hours at a birthday party is nothing in the grand scheme of things. And if it is a lot for her, then she should NOT commit herself to the event. Don’t say you are going, don’t show, and then write a blog basically telling her friends to kiss her ass and get over it. You can’t really think people are hating on a stranger, can you???

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      • I’m so Lmao! I knew the tone of this article would be a bit snobbish. Mommyof2big and kels….I am so loving your replies. I totally agree with this part:

        Don’t say you are going, don’t show, and then write a blog basically telling her friends to kiss her ass and get over it.

        I think that if you rsvp and don’t show ( for ANY reason) then you SHOULD be apologetic. If it’s a matter of getting sick, sick kids, babysitter flaking out…etc….then sure…I would be understanding but to miss an event that you rsvp’ed for because mommy and daddy are sleppy and want to cuddle isn’t a very good reason for a no show.

        Jcortz….wow! You got it exactly right! Loved every word of your post! I just have to paste my favorite parts:

        First and foremost that single person took time out to go to your baby shower, your children’s first birthday, their christening, their baptisms, the gender reveal, and even the damn name picking party! Your fucken kid lost his first tooth cake Having ass sent me an invite and we single people went to that too not because we had “free time” but because we cared! And trust me there’s more things us children less people would rather do than attend a kids birthday party since we have NO KIDS! But we go because we wouldn’t miss it in the world because we love you and that child!

        I have 2 kids now but even when we had no children we attended events we a were invited to. We went because we appreciated being included in our friend’s lives and celebrations. Tomorrow is promised to no one. It’s important to treat others the way you’d want them to treat you…with consideration and respect.

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      • There’s no way you’ve read the comments on here. There are people clearly stating there comments how she reminded them of someone they knew that abandon them as a friend and from their “context” have taken her blog out of “context”. One girl is actually being racist saying her grandfather is marriage to a white woman, and had been taught to believe that (herself) and other black women are rascist, some replies have consisted of attacking her and using profanity (in which I clearly see what some folks do not value), one person talked about her getting divorced, “personal attacks”, and you expect for her or I to respond to foolishness on her personally blog. Disagreeing is perfectly fine, but there is also “cyber bullying” and clearly there are some people living on her post responding and being very aggressive in their comments. Like I said it is clear that there are some who needs counseling, because she’s posted a blog that describes her frustration or whatever, and others “who don’t agree” are trying to change her life by giving “so called advice”.? This my last reply, but I must eliminate the fact that people are getting out of line with comments and “TAKING HER BLOG WAYYYY OUT OF CONTEXT” I hope you have a blessed day ma’am! And yes I’m from Texas😊

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    • At what point during this rubbish did you ever get the idea that WANTED to go?? Maybe the part that said “I don’t want to go”??

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  30. At least your being honest I have been to events with my husband and we are always supportive but then we had friends that don’t have kids say they coming but then they don’t. Family is very important. If people can’t understand that life happens then they haven’t experienced anything yet. Keep being who you are and taking care of your family.

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  31. Loved every bit of this! Your family and well being come first the way it should be. My husband and I have 5 children and a very big family if we tried to attend everything we get invited to we would never have time to ouselves. We love being able to get out every once in awhile but the truth is we are happiest doing our own thing. Thank you for the wonderful read !

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  32. These comments are vet exhausted! Your blog was great and just an FYI a blog is meant to be a way to vent happy or sad! Don’t attack the woman for being honest and stating her reasons for the way she feels…… If you feel differently then start a blog and say your own thing or blast it as your Facebook status! Girl you go!

    💋 Nothing better then hearing my child say Mommy!!! Xo

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  33. Good one. This Blog should have been entitled…”Why we are still together PERIOD.” It takes a lot of discipline like theirs to keep your home sane and Happy. Some people just want to constantly run the streets and neglect their kids for the first party smokin…and wonder why they have no steady man, women, boyfriend, husband or wife. I say stay steadfast in what works and keeps your bond strong.

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  34. While I completely understand the sentiment behind this post and very much agree with it, I had to stop reading many, many times because the grammar nazi in me was having a mini aneurysm I know this is a personal blog post and most people look at it as it’s their blog and they will write it any way they want, but for me when you refer to yourself as a writer and a college graduate and the grammar, punctuation and spelling is this bad I just can’t take it seriously. It was actually painful for me. Yes I know there will be comments on my comment telling me how petty I am or ridiculous I am being but I feel that lack of these elementary skills is one of the reasons young people cannot speak or write correctly anymore and it makes people sound highly unintelligent. This post and the rest of this blog would, for me, be so much better with correct grammar and would have kept me interested and counted me as a regular reader.

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  35. Wow, some of the responses on here?!
    Last time I checked thought everyone was entitled to their own opinion, with that said I am also a parent to three beautiful children, and have a partner/best friend who never wants to go out, so I can definitely relate to this. When you have children (not a child) you are permanently tired, most things are a huge sacrifice to attend. In addition our 2nd child suffers from severe reflux and needs a strict routine just so she doesn’t spend the entire night vomiting and oh yeah I also have a chronic illness I could go on and on.
    Yes we feel bad when we have decline or cancel on people we love but I’m not going to pay with my blood!
    Utimately my family are my number one priority and life goes on. I myself host lots of events birthdays, christenings you name it and everything is big because I have 14 siblings so let’s not even go there about cost’s. If you can’t afford the event don’t put it on because people will cancel it’s called life

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  36. By all means, your family comes first. Nurture your partnership.

    However, before you cancel on your friend’s celebration (including the $100 meal) just consider…

    Who was there for you while navigating dating? Deciding whether he was the one? For your engagement party, bachelorette party, bridal shower, wedding, pregnancy angst, baby shower, baby baptism, and 1st birthdays? Who are you calling to whine about baby weight? Wanting to get out of the house? Who are you asking for recommendations for new jobs?

    A $100 dinner for my friends usually means something HUGE is happening in their lives. HUGE. Maybe different from the huge stuff in my house, but still really important. (Weddings costs guests way more than $100 – let’s be real.)

    I’m sure the author understands give and take in her marriage… But the give and take with friends doesn’t stop just because we got married. Sometimes, you give when you don’t want to because that’s what friends do.

    I’m also sure that my friends were tired or broke (bc face it, most singles are paying rent/ mortgage on their own) when they decided to say YES to being there for me.

    They’re still saying yes. No, they don’t want to go to kid-friendly brunches. No, they don’t feel like hearing my boys pitch a fit. No, they don’t want to see the 36167383 facebook photos. Yes, their lives matter and because they love ALL of us in my house, they roll with it. And as a good friend, I am blessed to have them and their invites.

    Frankly, the reason some of us stop giving in our friendships is because we CAN, and we won’t be lonely (right then). Canceling when I have to means I usually make it up later. I find out how the party went. I send a card. I drop off wine or donuts ASAP. Or my hubby does it. Sometimes, we have the kids sign the card. We’re a team over here, too.

    Married, mom of two.

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    • I like this. Reading all these comments has made me question if I want to get married or have kids, but I see it is possible to not retreat into a selfish bubble and be a homemaker.

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  37. I don’t necessarily agree with this post but Im not mad. I enjoy hearing the different perspectives. Families in general are put on a higher pedastal in society. Its fine to take off work for little Jimmys football game but taking a half day off to fulfill personal obligations is a problem for someone childless. I see it all the time both directly and in indirectly. If the writer has a superiority complex when it comes to her family then thats completely fine. There are of course consequences that come with that way of thinking . But im sure she is well aware of that.

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  38. Please tell me you at least show those that invited you the respect they deserve and you call to tell them you’re unable to attend.

    I’m a single father with sole custody and responsibility for a 2 year old toddler and most of what you say I can relate to… except the “together” stuff…I haven’t dated in almost 3 years. But I never let someone who was decent enough to invite me think I didn’t appreciate their invitation when I had to cancel.

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  39. I hope they’re not offended when their kids are older/moved out that they don’t get any invitations anymore because they’ve spent years telling people we “don’t want to come to your event”.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. I read this blog post out of curiosity because I’m always trying to understand what I call “the other moms”. I have two children under 4, my husband and I both work and I actually opened a biz when my daughter was just 18 months and I/we have a very active social life. I know a lot of women who say you can’t have it all, but I just don’t agree. I don’t think you have to sacrifice your friends and social life for your family and I don’t feel guilty when I’m away from my kids. My husband and I just manage our time differently than these parents do, we go out to dinner at 9pm, we tell our Friends to not expect us until after kids go to bed. It’s about setting expectations so that we can balance our priorities. We only have 4 people we trust with our kids, so it’s not like we are just abandoning our children to any sitter. but we do make an effort to be with our friends and nurture those relationships. Reading this blog just made me realize that I’m never going to understand these “other moms”. Being a parent is a huge part of my identity but it won’t ever become my only identity.

    Liked by 2 people

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