Still a Black Woman With a Story…Still Not Angry

angry black woman

One of my readers sent me an article to review and give my personal opinion on. “Why I’m Absolutely an Angry Black Woman” is a post addressing all of the reasons why women of color should be angry. Of course this point of view is completely opposite of that in which I recently wrote about, so I’ve given a short response to how I feel about it. I also posted this on my Facebook page but wanted it to reach a larger audience. This isn’t meant to be an entire blog post, but instead a short narrative on why I Still won’t be angry…

“Alright, here’s my thing with this: I read this piece and it’s very good. However, I can say a lot of the same things and share some horrid stories of racism and prejudice that would make some cringe. I was born and raised in the heart of the notorious West Side of Chicago by an old-school down South feisty Black woman, Ethel Robinson. I was then rapidly thrown into the vicious whirlwind of wealthy Upper-Class Northern Suburbia once my Grandmother died. I was 9. With the same thick kinky hair that I have now. They didn’t like that. They wanted to know why my pony-tail didn’t move. I got called to the front office for having the Poetic Justice braids. They weren’t ‘in the uniform.’ My Mom had fun with That one…They wanted to know why my shoes weren’t Doc Martens and why my mother drove an old Fifth Avenue instead of a Benz. Or how about going to birthday parties at Country Clubs where other Moms giggled when I told them mine actually worked. Now don’t get me wrong, my Mom had money. Good money, and a good job. She was driving that car because it had no car note and my Grandmother would’ve turned in her grave if she knew it had gotten sold. She was working as one of the top execs at one of the top companies in the World and she enjoyed it. She saved our money and put aside to actually do things with me, as opposed to putting me off on a Nanny or sending me away. None of that mattered though. I was weird to them. They were mean. I went through a thing those years I spent out in Glenview at that uppity expensive ass private school. A thing I only Recently told my Mom about.

My first job was at Nordstrom in Skokie. I had no idea how cruel, insensitive and racist older Caucasian women could be. I was only 17. I wasn’t ready for that level of enlightenment just yet.

Then there was working downtown on Michigan Avenue with the city’s elite and fetching size 7 stilettos for Black Card toting socialites who thought it was a compliment to tell you how vibrant your ‘dark skin’ was and that you were ‘such a cute Black girl!’ I wore the weaves and covered up my motionless pony-tail so that I could fit in better.

In ALL of that happening, I never bought into being “angry.” There was no point. I took each one of those circumstances and learned something powerful from it! As an adult, I now know how to play all of the sides. I still know how to walk down my old street without feeling threatened and respond when people call me Tricey. I also know how to put on my game face for a corporate meeting and work the hell out of a presentation. You see, we as people of color have to get away from the resentment and oppression and learn to take our misfortunes and experiences as tools towards building betterment! Anger does no good except build on itself and create deeper chaos and cultural entanglement. Learn to let go! I did…and that’s why I STILL won’t subscribe to the ‘Angry Black Woman’ cliché!”

You can also catch this content Black woman spreading all kinds of Naturally Happy joy to others seeking to beat the odds at Grab a t-shirt or a hair product or Whatever it takes you to aggressively go against the anger!


7 thoughts on “Still a Black Woman With a Story…Still Not Angry

  1. I love this topic and your article. I am from Chicago as well. And transitioning from one neighborhood culture to the next while remaining your unique and original self is difficult. It is so hard to navigate as black woman between these two worlds. I have a blog posting tomorrow morning on a similar topic. It is nice to see other women talking about the stereotypes we face on a daily basis!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have to respectfully disagree. Personally, I did such a good job of suppressing my anger for so long – because I thought it was negative – that it became problematic for me. It was unhealthy and moving me off-center. I could barely access those emotions when I needed to, which isn’t healthy. I think anger is a normal, healthy emotion. I think it’s how we deal with it that’s important. There are productive ways to manage anger and of course, more destructive ways.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As a black woman, there have been times where I’ve put on the hat of the “angry black woman”. I’m actually wearing it today and I don’t think it’s coming off anytime soon. I’m angry because society doesn’t let up on the black community. It kills our sons and daughters, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters. So I can’t help but be angry because every incident evokes this emotion in me. I can’t just “let go” of this kind of hurt, pain, and instances of blatant racism. Now I do agree that you should not let it hinder you, but there’s nothing wrong with being angry. It’s a valid and justified emotion. I think the question is what are you going to do with that anger because anger and frustration can bring about change. I enjoyed reading this piece and I hope it encourages further discussion #BLMGirl

    Liked by 1 person

    • My I just say, I have been where you are and for the exact same reason. And I found, when I held onto that anger, for to long. I realised that I was slipping into a deep hole. Not to say, I don’t get mad when I see the news or read an article. BUT, letting the anger not consume me, was the only way I could contribute to change. I spoke with friends who felt the same way, and we were able to lift each other up, and focus on making our contribution to change. Usually I am the most outgoing person you could ever meet. And I want to stay that way. But I will continue to fight the fight, with strategies, a clear head and not anger. I hope soon you can take that hat of and see change in a clearer light. I feel we will get much more achieved that way.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I really love and appreciate the comments from the readers above. I too agree that embracing anger is a powerful tool in the healing process. Holding into it, however can be counterproductive. I think that the biggest struggle is creating a balance…mainly because the factors that ignite our anger seem to be ongoing and unresolved. I think to find inner peace as you seem to have done is a wonderful thing…and if its truly genuine, then you have achieved a magnificent feat!

    Liked by 1 person

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