Why You’re Really Mad at Ayesha Curry…

 

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“Everyone’s into barely wearing clothes these days huh? Not my style. I like to keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters…”

Annnnnnd just like that, the World went bananas!

I must say that I am sincerely confused by the uproar that the above comment caused. A bit taken aback even. When did our pedigree become so preposterously loose, tacky, and unapologetically disreputable? It took me awhile to even gain interest in this whole fiasco, but after really sitting down and reading some of the backlash that Mrs. Curry received for her statement, I had to regroup. Let me make sure I have the facts straight here. Society got infuriated with a respectable married mother of two young daughters, who felt as though she didn’t need her pocketbook and watermelons hanging out and on display in public?? Matter of fact, she went even further and told you that her pretty vanilla sugar was only for her husband to observe and enjoy. I’m still trying to figure out the problem here. From another married mother of two children with some damn sense…Mrs. Curry, I salute you boo!

Society has flat-out lost its entire mind. In the plight to achieve equal rights, maintain this overly remixed concept of feminism, and flaunt our independent stature, we have lost what it means to have refined class, dignity, and self-worth. I read this article, Here’s What’s Wrong With Ayesha Curry’s Tweet About How Some Women Dress ‘These Days,’ that had all types of fire for Ayesha. The author lashed out that “She’s [Ayesha] insinuating that women who dress more revealingly are showing off their ‘good stuff’ for people who don’t matter.” Hmmmm, that’s Exactly what she was saying! She didn’t insinuate a damn thing. Baby girl made it real plain.

So of course this got my mind pondering on exactly why women got their feelings hurt by one little declaration of her truth . Here’s what I think:

You’re Really Mad at Ayesha Because…

  1. She Can Back Her Statements Up With Her Lifestyle – This seems to piss people off. I think we would’ve taken her statement a bit more lighthearted and accepting if she was in fact a Complete contradiction of what she was portraying. We’re a society of calculated counterfeit bulls*t! How dare this trick actually be the person that she so arrogantly represents?
  2. She Meant Every Single Word She Said – Chile, she read you all for Filth in less than 100 words, and you were left standing in an embarrassed stupor, in your Jordan onesie, talking about being the baddest b*tch.
  3. It Burned You Up That She Does Actually Have a Husband to Show Her Goodies To – In the words of my Granny, “everybody ain’t able.” Let’s just be honest here. The Mrs just shut it down by basically letting you know that she had her forever, she didn’t need to be half-naked to keep him, and that you probably shouldn’t either. Don’t get mad at me! I’m just the messenger. 😉
  4. You Actually Thought That Dressing Scantily Clad Was Liberating – Fail! I’m all for women’s rights and the quest for liberalism. What I’m not about is losing your soul and integrity to try and prove a point. There are other ways to emancipate your womanly essence without your tatas being on display, or in a dress so snug/revealing that absolutely Nothing is left to your partner, nor the whole room’s, imagination.
  5. She Didn’t Go Along With The In-Crowd – So she doesn’t skip around with the rest of the current media mavens who decided to wear $.99 Leda stockings with rhinestones glued on them, as a dress, out to the latest big event. She also didn’t paint absurdities all over her catsuit and march through Magic City talmbout no damn “Slut Shaming”… How mad does that make you?? I can more than attest to this within my own life. Cliques are very much so real. Even as adults. When you don’t play nice with those intertwined in the ‘Moral Majority’ you get excommunicated and ostracized for going against the norm. People need to realize, however, that everybody is not going to ‘agree to disagree’ with you. Some of us are going to flat out come for your head, eat you alive, and spit out your b*llshit. This is precisely what Mrs. Curry did.
  6. Her Husband Defended & Backed Her Statement – This one right here is what made y’all want to rip her edges clean out!! Not only did she very unmercifully shoot fire with her commentary on Twitter, Hubby came through and cleverly clapped back at the naysayers by posting a flawless picture of his fully-dressed Mrs, and affectionately giving her the name “the instigator.” I do believe that unequivocal support of his opinionated boo thang (and the fact that she is gorgeous in her own right) is probably what made y’all panties hot!

At the end of the day, women need to get back to being women! Classy, elegant, posh, chic, grand, regal…These are all things that we have lost. The media tells us that we need to surgically enhance ourselves to be beautiful because the more of our bodies that we show the more attention that we will receive. Society leads you to believe that it’s empowering to be caught out with your mate, or otherwise, with little to nothing covered. Sorry, I don’t agree. Maybe we could get back to the days where we admired women such as Clair Huxtable and those of her caliber, as opposed to the video vixens, and reality show madams. Just a thought; but hey, what do I know???

 

~Check out the hair blog as well at BeNaturallyHappy.com~

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Ectopic Pregnancy and Loving After Loss

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As the new age millennials say, “I’ve been all up in my feelings this morning.” Two years ago to this day I sat in a stiff hospital bed, staring blankly at an egg-plant painted wall, wondering if I would ever be the same. Would my marriage ever be the same? Would my body ever be the same? Would I still be a good Mommy to my two-year old? Would I ever be able to face all of those people I had so excitedly gushed about our newly expected arrival to?

On October 7, 2013, I suffered one of the most common conditions experienced by almost 200,000 women a year: an ectopic pregnancy. For those who have never heard of or don’t truly understand it, ectopic pregnancy (extrauterine pregnancy), occurs when the fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus and continues to develop there. Typically the fetus attempts to grow within a fallopian tube. This is not a healthy nor sustainable pregnancy, and depending on how far along the Mother is there will either be oral treatment to permanently dissolve the pregnancy, or in more severe cases, emergency surgery. I fell into the latter group. I also had to lose a fallopian tube.

While my husband and I had planned for this new little life, we never penciled in the concept of someone telling us that he or she may never see the light of day. This was hard. I was a seemingly healthy young woman in her early 30s. I had a normal first pregnancy with no complications. I prayed every night, Thanked God every day, we were really good people…and my baby was still gone. No one could logically explain it to me, even in the sense of medical mumbo jumbo. All I kept hearing was the all too nerve-wrecking “Sometimes these types of things just happen.” The Hell You Say!!! Not to ME! Not to US! Not MY family!

As I’ve stated before in my published Ebony article, days rolled into nights and nights took way too long to go away. Despite my pain, my strength for my husband and my love for our son was my main concern. I cried in the shower and sat in my own awkward silence throughout day when no one was around. When I was finally able to log back into social media, I wasn’t all that comfortable yet about interacting with people, seeing pictures of babies, or being completely honest about how I felt. When I go through things on a serious level, I become the poster child for every stereotypical characteristic of an introvert. I don’t want pity parties or thousands of phone calls. I’ll text you to let you know that I’m alive, and the rest you can get from my husband. However, you realize at some point that life goes on, you aren’t the only one to go through this, and in fact, there are some who have suffered worse. You get a bit more humble about your experience, but you never get over it.

Last year on October 9, 2014, I pushed out an 8 lb bundle of healthy joy and my life changed forever! Devin and I have a bond that No One can or will ever understand. Of course I still often wonder longingly who that child would’ve been, but then I look into Devin’s eyes and I get my answer. People often criticize or judge my husband and I for the tremendously strong relationship that we have, and how seriously we take our family unit. Now you know why. Loving after Loss isn’t easy, but together you can make it through!