Why You’re Really Mad at Ayesha Curry…

 

0b3f6646ab4dea49f3f2fec7632710de

“Everyone’s into barely wearing clothes these days huh? Not my style. I like to keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters…”

Annnnnnd just like that, the World went bananas!

I must say that I am sincerely confused by the uproar that the above comment caused. A bit taken aback even. When did our pedigree become so preposterously loose, tacky, and unapologetically disreputable? It took me awhile to even gain interest in this whole fiasco, but after really sitting down and reading some of the backlash that Mrs. Curry received for her statement, I had to regroup. Let me make sure I have the facts straight here. Society got infuriated with a respectable married mother of two young daughters, who felt as though she didn’t need her pocketbook and watermelons hanging out and on display in public?? Matter of fact, she went even further and told you that her pretty vanilla sugar was only for her husband to observe and enjoy. I’m still trying to figure out the problem here. From another married mother of two children with some damn sense…Mrs. Curry, I salute you boo!

Society has flat-out lost its entire mind. In the plight to achieve equal rights, maintain this overly remixed concept of feminism, and flaunt our independent stature, we have lost what it means to have refined class, dignity, and self-worth. I read this article, Here’s What’s Wrong With Ayesha Curry’s Tweet About How Some Women Dress ‘These Days,’ that had all types of fire for Ayesha. The author lashed out that “She’s [Ayesha] insinuating that women who dress more revealingly are showing off their ‘good stuff’ for people who don’t matter.” Hmmmm, that’s Exactly what she was saying! She didn’t insinuate a damn thing. Baby girl made it real plain.

So of course this got my mind pondering on exactly why women got their feelings hurt by one little declaration of her truth . Here’s what I think:

You’re Really Mad at Ayesha Because…

  1. She Can Back Her Statements Up With Her Lifestyle – This seems to piss people off. I think we would’ve taken her statement a bit more lighthearted and accepting if she was in fact a Complete contradiction of what she was portraying. We’re a society of calculated counterfeit bulls*t! How dare this trick actually be the person that she so arrogantly represents?
  2. She Meant Every Single Word She Said – Chile, she read you all for Filth in less than 100 words, and you were left standing in an embarrassed stupor, in your Jordan onesie, talking about being the baddest b*tch.
  3. It Burned You Up That She Does Actually Have a Husband to Show Her Goodies To – In the words of my Granny, “everybody ain’t able.” Let’s just be honest here. The Mrs just shut it down by basically letting you know that she had her forever, she didn’t need to be half-naked to keep him, and that you probably shouldn’t either. Don’t get mad at me! I’m just the messenger. 😉
  4. You Actually Thought That Dressing Scantily Clad Was Liberating – Fail! I’m all for women’s rights and the quest for liberalism. What I’m not about is losing your soul and integrity to try and prove a point. There are other ways to emancipate your womanly essence without your tatas being on display, or in a dress so snug/revealing that absolutely Nothing is left to your partner, nor the whole room’s, imagination.
  5. She Didn’t Go Along With The In-Crowd – So she doesn’t skip around with the rest of the current media mavens who decided to wear $.99 Leda stockings with rhinestones glued on them, as a dress, out to the latest big event. She also didn’t paint absurdities all over her catsuit and march through Magic City talmbout no damn “Slut Shaming”… How mad does that make you?? I can more than attest to this within my own life. Cliques are very much so real. Even as adults. When you don’t play nice with those intertwined in the ‘Moral Majority’ you get excommunicated and ostracized for going against the norm. People need to realize, however, that everybody is not going to ‘agree to disagree’ with you. Some of us are going to flat out come for your head, eat you alive, and spit out your b*llshit. This is precisely what Mrs. Curry did.
  6. Her Husband Defended & Backed Her Statement – This one right here is what made y’all want to rip her edges clean out!! Not only did she very unmercifully shoot fire with her commentary on Twitter, Hubby came through and cleverly clapped back at the naysayers by posting a flawless picture of his fully-dressed Mrs, and affectionately giving her the name “the instigator.” I do believe that unequivocal support of his opinionated boo thang (and the fact that she is gorgeous in her own right) is probably what made y’all panties hot!

At the end of the day, women need to get back to being women! Classy, elegant, posh, chic, grand, regal…These are all things that we have lost. The media tells us that we need to surgically enhance ourselves to be beautiful because the more of our bodies that we show the more attention that we will receive. Society leads you to believe that it’s empowering to be caught out with your mate, or otherwise, with little to nothing covered. Sorry, I don’t agree. Maybe we could get back to the days where we admired women such as Clair Huxtable and those of her caliber, as opposed to the video vixens, and reality show madams. Just a thought; but hey, what do I know???

 

~Check out the hair blog as well at BeNaturallyHappy.com~

Advertisements

Why I am Not Here For the “Stay-at-Home Girlfriend” Movement

 

 

1914144_128260502853_2757940_n

Lurking on social media I see all types of preposterous mentions of questionable opinions. Lately there has been one pretty spicy topic to come up that I just can’t keep my big mouth shut about.

So let me paint a quick picture…you and your bestie are lounging in the living room, sipping Pino and talking ish. All of a sudden, she makes a statement and ends it casually identifying herself as a “Stay-at-Home Girlfriend” – PAUSE. Now I have some pretty loose-tongued, low-tolerance, comfortably unapologetic honest friends with overly ‘colorful’ points of view! I can imagine the response to that statement being something in the area of “you’re a WHAT Bish???”, lmbo, I’m just saying…So this now brings me to my controversial question of the day: What in THEE whole hell is a Stay-at-Home Girlfriend???

Let me preface my rant by first saying that I am in No way against girlfriends or women that are not married. Nor do I have any beef with single Moms or honestly secure women who feel as though they just aren’t into marriage. What I do frown upon and act real uncouth about are the many lovely ladies out there lying to kick it and putting up a front about what they know they deserve and want from a man. Our society is all caught up in titles. I get it. If we didn’t have titles we wouldn’t know who actually held some kind of importance, versus who just thought their ass was important and should probably have a seat. You don’t call the Alderman the President of the United States. Feel me?? Anyhow, I believe it is this undying and almost mentally debilitating need to be “Somebody’s Something” in life. People take pride in their roles and hold them with great honor. That being said, all too often we like to be identified with, and put ourselves into, categories of those things we actually aren’t. Traditionally, a Stay-at-Home Wife is one that is married to her mate and usually stays home full-time, at either her own choice or the choice of her spouse…because she can. Let’s go a bit deeper shall we. Wikipedia states the following:

“A housewife is a woman whose main occupation is running or managing her family’s home—caring for and educating her children, cooking and storing food, buying goods the family needs in day-to-day life, cleaning and maintaining the home, making clothes for the family, etc.—and who is generally not employed outside the home.[1] Merriam Webster describes a housewife as a married woman who is in charge of her household. The related term homemaker has almost the same meaning but is not limited to women and does not connote marriage.”

So a Stay-at-Home Girlfriend is actually a homemaker that’s not necessarily a woman??? Sheesh, I’m going to leave that one for another post so let me stay focused!… I also looked up Stay-at-Home Girlfriend and you wanna know what I found besides this cute little newly coined acronym “SAHG”…Comical, cleverly asshole-written SATIRE! And that’s Exactly how I feel about it also! It’s a joke! A punchline! A cunningly cute contrast to a life that you probably want but have settled and convinced yourself that you’re ok without. Yes, I said it. I’ve heard this story WAY too many times of becoming the live-in girlfriend who is still dropping painstakingly awkward hints on the hopeless fact that we “aren’t gonna be Just your girlfriend for too much longer”. Again, if you don’t want to get married, click off of my post now and go sip some tea. However, if you DO, read on and absorb heavily!

If you are single-handedly tending to all of the “duties” mentioned above in the “Housewife” definition, and you are a Girlfriend, YOU my Dear need to re-evaluate your goals in life. Yes, I said it again! Ever heard of the phrase, why would you buy the cow if you’re already getting the milk??? (I think that’s what it says, but you get my point). A HUGE problem women have these days is the fear of standing firm, being aware of their worth, and being afraid to demand what they know they deserve. This has set the pathetic tone of our new age man to not give a damn or have any accountability in long-term relationships! It isn’t all that easy for many men to “be ready” for marriage but I will tell you this…He can be ready all he wants, but if he has someone who happily allows his ass to stay stagnant, he Will! Men need to be challenged! ALL OF THE TIME! Even after you marry them! When you no longer become something he has to work for and continue evolving because of, you become the Sunday paper that he keeps picking up and taking in the house as an habitual gesture; because it’s easier and less messy than leaving them all over the porch every week…Holler when you catch it…

ASK for your damn ring! DEMAND your security! SIT your ass in a house everyday that you also own, and SPEND money from accounts that you have the legal right to as well! Now I know some of that sounds a bit gold-diggerish, but I am being dead serious here! Have some Real life ties to this man! We have TOO many unhappy Black women continuously playing this role instead of getting their shit together! Do you know how many times I’ve gotten the searing glare while out with my children or alone and people (Caucasians) learn that I have a HUSBAND as opposed to a baby daddy or just a boyfriend???? The shit is almost unnerving, but it’s examples such as that which get me so irate at our progressive tendency to just take what we can ’cause at least we got that. FAIL! DO BETTER!

Now in terms of the actual “title”, I won’t be calling you no damn Stay-at-Home Girlfriend! Not solely because I don’t take you seriously, but because when people actually ask ME what I do for a living, I don’t answer them “Oh! I’m a Stay-at-Home Wife!” That’s foolish and nonsensical. I’m a married Mother of two who chooses to stay home and take care of my home and children Full-Time, while I run my own business, as opposed to punching a clock everyday. The value I have within my family cannot be measured by a title, but by what I provide to their lives and well-being. I could care less what you call me, but I won’t ever be downplayed and you will never identify me as a girlfriend. So I ask these girlfriends, why try to appropriate a term essentially originated for a wife’s stature if that truly isn’t what you’re trying to be???…Don’t Worry. I’ll Wait

 

~Also Check Out the Hair Blog via Naturally Happy~

DJ & Devin’s Response to All the Critics…

meandmyboys

Hi! So we’ve heard about all of the controversy over Mommy’s recent blog post “6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…”, and we wanted to sound off on some of the responses. We promise not to take up much of your time because we know everyone is busy, plus we have to get back to playing with Mommy & Daddy! We Love our parents and it would only be right to defend them. Please keep in mind though that we’re only 11 months and 4 years old, so harsh comments might be a bit inappropriate and unnecessary towards us 😦

So here’s why we think you’re mad at Mommy & Daddy, and why we’ll always defend their honor…

  • A lot of people are REALLY upset about Mommy’s mention of RSVPing to two events and not being able to attend. Mommy & Daddy did Not just flake on their friends! BOTH parties were notified of the last-minute absence and given sincere apology as to why they couldn’t attend. Mommy even has a very nice baby gift for her expecting friend who’s shower she couldn’t attend!
  • Mommy didn’t write her post to offend single moms, childless women, or those that are not married. My brother and I aren’t all that good at reading yet, but I don’t think her post pointed any particular group out. She was speaking to whomever needed to receive it. If you became offended, it might be because Mommy touched an unspoken nerve on your Own behalf! Don’t be mean to my Mommy though! 😦
  • WHY WHY WHY are you all wishing divorce on our Mommy & Daddy?? You guys don’t get to see or be around them and realize just how much they love each other! It’s a very positive image for my brother and I to observe because it will teach us how to love our spouses when we grow up! Mommy isn’t co-dependent on Daddy. Daddy loves Mommy to death and is always by her side! She knows she can depend on him for anything and he knows she always has his back! We think it’s pretty cool!!  🙂
  • Contrary to what most assumed, Mommy & Daddy didn’t have an actual wedding, or bridal shower, or any of that other stuff you guys brought up. They had a really small ceremony composed of those they care for and who care for them. We also know our parents personally, and they don’t get their feathers ruffled by much. So not being able to attend an event they planned wouldn’t ruin their lives. They’d understand it and get over it. They realize that life doesn’t always work out the way you intend it to! 😉
  • My Mommy & Daddy actually DO have social lives, with each other and separately with their own respective friends. They’ve attended lots of weddings, baby showers, house-warmings, and birthday parties! Sometimes we don’t even wanna go but they make us! Obviously those were times when all the planets aligned perfectly in the Universe, and they were effortlessly able to attend.
  • My Mommy & Daddy have A LOT on their plates and they don’t complain about it.  They make humor out of it, which eases the load for us too. We don’t ever see our parents arguing or fighting or stressed out! Most of what they do, or do not do, is all for the benefit of us, so that our future is secure and bright!! My Mommy recently quit her full-time job as a Director to stay at home with us and make sure the house was running smoothly and that Daddy was also being taken care of. She makes sure that I (DJ) gets to and from school everyday (Pre-K is a pretty big deal! :-D), and she tends to my baby brother while I’m at school. She makes time to go on field trips with me and always makes sure I have a yummy healthy lunch made daily, plus lots of other cool stuff that takes a lot of dedication and time on her part. Whenever I have a “bright yellow day” at school, Mommy takes me to Starbucks for my favorite white milk shake! :)…My Daddy makes sure my uniform is pressed and fresh daily, and shows me how to tie my shoes and put on my tie like a big boy! He even takes us to the park and for walks when Mommy needs some alone time. My parents even have their own outside businesses and commitments that they make to the community. While my Daddy works full-time at a school, he also does Uber on weekends, and is the host of a popular Podcast, I94, with his good friends! How cool! My Mommy owns her own business and has her own hair product line that will actually soon be in stores. I’ve watched her sit at the kitchen table and make each bottle one by one, and then we go to the post office to ship them out! That’s pretty awesome to me and shows me an entrepreneurial spirit early on! You guys should check out her site at http://www.BeNaturallyHappy.com to see just how much more she does! Maybe even buy her product if you support her! She’s also got a well-followed Fan Page for her company on Facebook, at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Naturally-Happy/1570847059843108
  • Some of you guy’s scrutinized my Mommy’s grammar and writing style, but she’s actually a pretty Great and accomplished writer! Maybe you guys should go read her two published articles on Ebony.com and GoodHairMag.com: http://www.ebony.com/life/birth-after-loss-503#.VXllyku9L7o and http://www.goodhairmag.com/good-hair-featured-beauty-patrice/  🙂
  • Mommy & Daddy appreciate their friends. We’ve got A LOT of really cool “aunts and uncles” that we get to see all of the time, and they understand our busy lives, but still Love us! Mommy & Daddy have always taught us to hold on to nothing that doesn’t want to hold on to us! So if someone doesn’t want to be apart of Mommy and Daddy’s lives for whatever reason, they don’t sweat it, and neither will we! Those who want to be here aren’t going anywhere. Besides, they will always still have plenty that DO support them and us!

Well, we have to go now because it’s almost our bedtime, Mommy still has to read me a story and make my brother’s bottle, and Daddy promised to play hide ‘n’ seek with me after my bath. I hope we cleared up some stuff for you guys here, but if not, our family still has no hard feelings towards you! Like I tell my Mommy all the time, “DJ Loves ALL the people, and ALL the people Love DJ!” 😉

6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

MomNDad

I was trying to figure out which blog this topic should go under, and decided that it fell more so into the “parental/family” category, so here goes!

Over the past weekend, we unfortunately missed at least two pretty important celebrations of life events for some of our closest friends (and Thankfully they are the type of people who understood the reasoning for our absence, and they’re ok…Everybody isn’t though). These were occasions that we were actually invited to, RSVPd for, and expected to attend. Then a little thing called LIFE happened, and our fun-filled weekend was replaced with a killer sinus headache, an exhausted Mommy, a sneezing/stuffy Daddy, trying to get a car battery replaced, a coloring book marathon with my 4-year old, and a massive poop explosion from the 11-month old tyrant! So…in all things typical of a writer, I decided to turn this experience into a special FYI for the world to be informed about. It is necessary and we’re probably not the only family that needs to share this “heart-felt” disclaimer! 😉

Here it is! 6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

  1. We have KIDS!!! I know. I know. This one is too easy and a lot of people are tired of hearing it. However, I feel like most Need to! Especially those who do Not have kids. While we still love you, we also need you to know that you have NO idea the strange ish that randomly occurs in a household with children. A temperature that’s 2 degrees over the norm, or a baby whining because of a missed nap can drastically curve Mommy and Daddy’s care about meeting up for drinks and chatter!
  2. We are TIRED!!! Like, not normal tired. The type of unbearable exhaustion where you fall asleep on the toilet and sneakily nod off while your child is reading “Corduroy” to you for the 678,467th time today!! Please understand that all of that Great intention we had to make it to your housewarming just got flushed down the toilet as Soon as we sat down in one spot!
  3. We DON’T HAVE A BABYSITTER!!! Contrary to popular belief and practices, there are seriously only like two people in the Entire Universe, outside of ourselves, that we will allow to keep our children! Yes, we continuously crack jokes about how people can “come and get them” but ummmm, not so much! If those two individuals aren’t available, we will All stay at home! Period. There is NO outing serious enough to hound somebody to watch our children, or sacrifice their safety Just to say we attended the hottest night out of the year. Fail! That’s why we both went to college and had a whole lot of fun and got that all out of our systems! We don’t feel guilty or as if we’re missing out on anything. Sorry, but Not sorry.
  4. If ONE of us can’t attend, nine times out of ten NEITHER of us will attend!!! This is a hard one for people to understand, and we’ve lost friendships over the concept. We are Married. We are not pals, boyfriend & girlfriend, or side buddies. We are a union. A team. We make our appearances together in the situations that call for it. This isn’t really negotiable. If hubby is sick and shut in, so am I, and vice-versa. Of course this doesn’t apply to the token Girl’s or Guy’s Night Out. We respect each other’s individualized socialization. I’m referring to the things we are Both hoped to be in attendance for. This also applies to situations where one spouse may think/know that the crowd at a certain event is questionable. Again, nothing personal against You, but we choose not to put ourselves in awkward or obviously drama-filled situations when we don’t have to!
  5. We actually DO have a FINANCIAL BUDGET and PRIORITIES!!! Not to rain on the parade of your $100/meal dinner party, but this week’s automatic tuition debiting from the Chase account, and the Costco diaper/wipe stock-up will probably hold a higher level of importance for us. I can cook you a fabulous meal, serve you a wonderful glass of wine, play some classic jazz tunes, and indulge you in the ambiance of my Own darn home! All for under $200. We still Love You though! 🙂
  6. WE JUST DON’T WANT TO GO!!! Yep, it sounds rude as hell, a bit pretentious, and will probably cause our invites to dwindle in the near future, but it’s Honest. The very few times that we actually get alone, we just want to enjoy each other! We still DO enjoy each other and we aren’t going to apologize for that. Sometimes we even just want to be left alone as a family with our boys and just relax.

Now all of this isn’t to say that we don’t like you, are trying to purposely be douche bags, or ‘unsupportive’. But we are humans! We want people to Overstand that. We love and appreciate all of friends and family, but guess what?? WE come First…and we Don’t want you to take that personal!