This Is What Black Motherhood Looks Like: Birth After Loss

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Seven months ago I randomly submitted a piece to EBONY.com for a Mother’s Day feature, focusing on extraordinary stories of Black Motherhood and what it meant to me. This movement was categorized as #ThisIsWhatBlackMotherhoodLooksLike.  I literally took one of the most tragic moments of my life and commenced to spilling my pain into 1,000 words or less. I had no idea that the remarkably talented, three-time Black Weblog Awards winner, and culturally-aware Fierce Feminist Femme Fatale would actually pick my little ole essay to post! Jamilah Lemieux, Senior Editor for EBONY Magazine, made my day, my week, and inspired me to continue writing. Today I’m choosing to share again this timeless piece with you all, in hopes that I can encourage another Black Mom to keep believing!

#ThisIsWhatBlackMotherhoodLooksLike

 

This is my story…

At the age of 32, married with a busy body toddler, my wish was to “complete” my family by adding on a bright beautiful bubbling little girl. So my husband and I decided to discontinue using birth control and got to procreating! In September of 2013, I got the beginnings of my wish. After about a week of irritability, an unexplained appetite, and literally falling asleep at my desk, I told hubby to go grab the generic two-pack of pregnancy tests (they work better!), and trickled on a stick. Voilà! There it was! That one little pink line that usually defined the rest of a woman’s life. I was pleasantly surprised but still taken aback at the thought of going through the nine-month stretch again. My husband was happy, my mom was elated, and an unsuspecting only child couldn’t wait to become a big brother.

Then, October 6th happened.

Just like any other Sunday, I got up with my little one, made breakfast, and we watched “Elmo’s World.” My husband slept soundly after having worked a hellish 12-hour overnight shift. He had no idea our lives were about to change…as I snuggled into my couch and watched my son play with his toys, I began to mildly cramp up. Nothing extreme. The kind of cramps you have when people reassure you that your uterus is just stretching, so I didn’t worry. The cramps continued on though. A little longer than I had experienced before; and they got more intense. Still not in a panic, I simply got up and went to the bathroom, self-diagnosing myself with “preggo indigestion.” Only, by the time I had finished, I was on all fours in the middle of my bathroom reassuring my two-year-old that “Mommy was ok”, and gently but sternly trying to tell him to go get Daddy.

Mommy wasn’t okay. I was in the type of pain where I couldn’t move from side-to-side. All I could do was lie on the stretcher in the ER and groan sadly that I didn’t want to lose my baby. My husband held my hand tight and whispered to me to try and stay calm and that it would be okay. Again, Mommy wasn’t okay. I watched that ultrasound screen as the doctor poked and prodded earnestly trying to find some evidence of a pregnancy. There was nothing there. All I heard was “This pregnancy will not last. It has not implanted correctly…”

My world caved in and swallowed me whole. I stared up at those offensive fluorescent lights of that ER exam room and hot tears just ran down the sides of my face. I was a mere and fresh 7 weeks pregnant. I didn’t know the gender. I had already picked names though. Just the day before I had gone to Whole Foods and purchased every healthy item that my pregnancy app recommended. But in less than twenty-four hours, I would have a surgery to not only remove my baby, but my entire left fallopian tube. Life re-birthed itself from that point on.

Days were hard and nights were terrible. I boycotted social media indefinitely in the fear of seeing someone’s pregnancy announcement or overly adorable picture of an infant. My Oxycodone numbed me physically but did little to relieve my mental anguish. I didn’t talk about it much and neither did those around me. I cried at night in the living room while my husband slept and thanked God that my little boy didn’t know enough about life to even realize what had happened. I realize now that I probably should have sought out professional help, but I, as many Black women, instead treated myself with journaling, praying, and wine time at noon. After 6 full weeks at home, I realized that life had to go on, my family needed me, my career demanded me, and that I would be Ok.

Mommy was doing better. I finally got life back up and running and moved away from the misery. My husband and I chose to try again for another baby. Low and behold, at the end of January 2014, I got another pink line! A gloomy and strange cloud of uncertainty, doubt, and horror hovered over me, but then I remembered that I was a strong woman, one who needed to become that lost strength for other moms who were afraid to talk about this trauma and ashamed to admit it. So I embraced my pregnancy and celebrated even harder when I passed 7 weeks and we were told that this one had implanted where it should.

On October 9, 2014, Devin Letez Robinson came into this world at 9:01 am, exactly one year and 48 hours to the day that I had gone into surgery to terminate my ectopic pregnancy. My little boy was healthy, happy, and most importantly, alive! He’s 6 months now, and we have an unspoken bond that even I don’t understand at times. I released that hurt the moment he came into this world, and never looked back. I just want to empower other women to know that we can and will survive loss, hurt, and unfortunate circumstance. Black women are often so focused on being the never broken cord, that we forget we are human. I’m here to say…“Mommies, you will be okay!”

 
Read more and see this full article here at EBONY
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10 Things New Mommies Shouldn’t Apologize For – Pt.1

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It’s happened! The time has come! Your life has officially changed and there’s no looking back; you’re a New Mom!! Your emotions are a tad bit all over the place but nonetheless you are currently experiencing a level of undeniable bliss for another human being that there is no real relentlessly modest way to even sensibly express it…but now what?? Your perfectly planned and flawlessly designed life now begins to take some major twists and turns and you, to some extent, feel a little bit out of control and somewhat helplessly lonely, in your own personal cloud of cognitive dissonance. The reality of it all is that you will make it through! Believe it or not you’re gonna be ok — “You is smart. You is kind. You is important.” 🙂

The annoyingly disheartening thing about this is that the rest of the world doesn’t seem to understand your plight, nor sympathize with some of your painstaking predicaments. Guess what Mommy….Eff Em! Let me tell you at least 10 things that you most positively and unequivocally should Not apologize for as a new Mom!!!

  1. Your Weight Gain or Lack of Weight Loss – Numero uno, thee most annoying thing anyone in their ever-loving mind can do is mention a woman’s post-pregnant weight. Just find something else to talk about. Period. Here’s the thing, we have already sat in the hospital and then in our homes, and then stood in our bathroom mirrors looking at this new body and then sucking in trying to figure out what in the hell we used to look like. We’ve seen ourselves naked and with clothes on, so your rude unwarranted comments about how our stomachs are “kinda going back down” only make us cringe and want to head butt you. We don’t need you to state the obvious or tell us what we looked like in college, and remind us how small our waists were, or how firm and perky our boobs were, or how many more chins we have now, or that our butts got bigger/wider/smaller, or how “that baby has really made you spread” *insert stale face emoji*. You just created, grew, and then spew forth life to an entire human being. Whatever the hell your body has done, you should not be ashamed of!
  2. Your Choice Not to Nurse – I need all of the Grandmas, Aunties, Breast Feeding Nazis, Facebook Fan Groups, and the like, to mind your darn business!! While I breast-fed with both of my children and will scream its wondrous benefits to the moon, I also understand that it is not for everyone. It is also not easy. It can be mentally traumatic, physically unrelenting, and cause feelings of overall failure if your experience doesn’t go well. I thank God for an angel disguised as an amazing lactation consultant nurse who got right into these sore swollen boobies and showed me how to more effectively latch my youngest son! Then some mothers just do not have the time or energy to nurse. You’re up every other hour at night, and when you return to work, you better hope you’re lucky enough to have your own office because you’re pumping every time you even think about your baby! Again, I personally believe that breast milk is the best milk and think one should at least try before they completely rule it out. Don’t stress yourself though. If you cannot or do not want to do it, don’t. Don’t apologize for it either!
  3. Not Being Ready For Intercourse Yet – This can be a biggie! Especially those of us who are married and in committed relationships so you’re probably sleeping with this man every night. The doctor said six weeks and you’re knocking on about twelve.  He is getting antsy and annoyed and you barely even have the attention span or time to notice. Well guess what MAN…She probably smells like breast milk, drool, an onion, leftover poop, and dirty hair because she gets a shower when she can and doing a wash, deep condition, and blow out with your favorite smelling conditioner just hasn’t been on her list of priorities lately. By the time she pathetically climbs into the bed, she is out quicker than a patient who gets anesthesia before a surgery. Needless to say, sex is the furthest thing from her mind right now. She loves you dearly and yearns for you also, but give her a little time and a weekend where your Mom has the kids and she can focus! She will get it together soon enough but she should not apologize for right now!
  4. Being Tired – This one is obvious and too easy. New Moms are freakin’ TIRED!!! Do you understand what the human body has just gone through, and now there’s a little human desperately staring at you for every ounce of their survival 24/7??? Don’t tell a new Mom that she looks tired. Don’t tell a new Mom that she doesn’t have a reason to be tired because she has a husband. Don’t downplay her tiredness just because you can’t comprehend it. Matter of fact, unless you’re willing to come over and watch the baby so she can sleep for 8-12 hours straight, don’t even talk!
  5. Becoming a New Person – I always sit back and wait for this one when I have friends or others that I know who are about to have their first child. These are usually the people who unfairly judged you when you had your first child and had a whole arsenal of smart ish to say about your new choices and way of living. Your priorities have changed and for good reasoning, but a lot of people won’t get that. Even being pregnant, you have no idea what your mind-set is about to evolve into. You no longer care about clubbing until 4am, making reckless choices with your health/overall life, pointless drama, drinking until you forget your last name, or what color your nails will be the next week. You’ve become an avid member of Mommy blogs and now subscribe to Parent magazine. Finding some good life insurance and researching the best daycare and pre-schools become your past time. You start to disconnect from busy body toxic friends that serve no purpose in the person who you need to ultimately be right now. Taking shots has transitioned into slowly sipping a good Malbec once you get the baby asleep at night. You forgot what nail polish even smells like, and are lucky to rip off that hang nail before it rips your child’s face open while giving him a bath. Things just aren’t the same anymore.

Your life has changed Momma. You owe No One an explanation…and you don’t need to apologize for that!

DJ & Devin’s Response to All the Critics…

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Hi! So we’ve heard about all of the controversy over Mommy’s recent blog post “6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…”, and we wanted to sound off on some of the responses. We promise not to take up much of your time because we know everyone is busy, plus we have to get back to playing with Mommy & Daddy! We Love our parents and it would only be right to defend them. Please keep in mind though that we’re only 11 months and 4 years old, so harsh comments might be a bit inappropriate and unnecessary towards us 😦

So here’s why we think you’re mad at Mommy & Daddy, and why we’ll always defend their honor…

  • A lot of people are REALLY upset about Mommy’s mention of RSVPing to two events and not being able to attend. Mommy & Daddy did Not just flake on their friends! BOTH parties were notified of the last-minute absence and given sincere apology as to why they couldn’t attend. Mommy even has a very nice baby gift for her expecting friend who’s shower she couldn’t attend!
  • Mommy didn’t write her post to offend single moms, childless women, or those that are not married. My brother and I aren’t all that good at reading yet, but I don’t think her post pointed any particular group out. She was speaking to whomever needed to receive it. If you became offended, it might be because Mommy touched an unspoken nerve on your Own behalf! Don’t be mean to my Mommy though! 😦
  • WHY WHY WHY are you all wishing divorce on our Mommy & Daddy?? You guys don’t get to see or be around them and realize just how much they love each other! It’s a very positive image for my brother and I to observe because it will teach us how to love our spouses when we grow up! Mommy isn’t co-dependent on Daddy. Daddy loves Mommy to death and is always by her side! She knows she can depend on him for anything and he knows she always has his back! We think it’s pretty cool!!  🙂
  • Contrary to what most assumed, Mommy & Daddy didn’t have an actual wedding, or bridal shower, or any of that other stuff you guys brought up. They had a really small ceremony composed of those they care for and who care for them. We also know our parents personally, and they don’t get their feathers ruffled by much. So not being able to attend an event they planned wouldn’t ruin their lives. They’d understand it and get over it. They realize that life doesn’t always work out the way you intend it to! 😉
  • My Mommy & Daddy actually DO have social lives, with each other and separately with their own respective friends. They’ve attended lots of weddings, baby showers, house-warmings, and birthday parties! Sometimes we don’t even wanna go but they make us! Obviously those were times when all the planets aligned perfectly in the Universe, and they were effortlessly able to attend.
  • My Mommy & Daddy have A LOT on their plates and they don’t complain about it.  They make humor out of it, which eases the load for us too. We don’t ever see our parents arguing or fighting or stressed out! Most of what they do, or do not do, is all for the benefit of us, so that our future is secure and bright!! My Mommy recently quit her full-time job as a Director to stay at home with us and make sure the house was running smoothly and that Daddy was also being taken care of. She makes sure that I (DJ) gets to and from school everyday (Pre-K is a pretty big deal! :-D), and she tends to my baby brother while I’m at school. She makes time to go on field trips with me and always makes sure I have a yummy healthy lunch made daily, plus lots of other cool stuff that takes a lot of dedication and time on her part. Whenever I have a “bright yellow day” at school, Mommy takes me to Starbucks for my favorite white milk shake! :)…My Daddy makes sure my uniform is pressed and fresh daily, and shows me how to tie my shoes and put on my tie like a big boy! He even takes us to the park and for walks when Mommy needs some alone time. My parents even have their own outside businesses and commitments that they make to the community. While my Daddy works full-time at a school, he also does Uber on weekends, and is the host of a popular Podcast, I94, with his good friends! How cool! My Mommy owns her own business and has her own hair product line that will actually soon be in stores. I’ve watched her sit at the kitchen table and make each bottle one by one, and then we go to the post office to ship them out! That’s pretty awesome to me and shows me an entrepreneurial spirit early on! You guys should check out her site at http://www.BeNaturallyHappy.com to see just how much more she does! Maybe even buy her product if you support her! She’s also got a well-followed Fan Page for her company on Facebook, at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Naturally-Happy/1570847059843108
  • Some of you guy’s scrutinized my Mommy’s grammar and writing style, but she’s actually a pretty Great and accomplished writer! Maybe you guys should go read her two published articles on Ebony.com and GoodHairMag.com: http://www.ebony.com/life/birth-after-loss-503#.VXllyku9L7o and http://www.goodhairmag.com/good-hair-featured-beauty-patrice/  🙂
  • Mommy & Daddy appreciate their friends. We’ve got A LOT of really cool “aunts and uncles” that we get to see all of the time, and they understand our busy lives, but still Love us! Mommy & Daddy have always taught us to hold on to nothing that doesn’t want to hold on to us! So if someone doesn’t want to be apart of Mommy and Daddy’s lives for whatever reason, they don’t sweat it, and neither will we! Those who want to be here aren’t going anywhere. Besides, they will always still have plenty that DO support them and us!

Well, we have to go now because it’s almost our bedtime, Mommy still has to read me a story and make my brother’s bottle, and Daddy promised to play hide ‘n’ seek with me after my bath. I hope we cleared up some stuff for you guys here, but if not, our family still has no hard feelings towards you! Like I tell my Mommy all the time, “DJ Loves ALL the people, and ALL the people Love DJ!” 😉

6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

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I was trying to figure out which blog this topic should go under, and decided that it fell more so into the “parental/family” category, so here goes!

Over the past weekend, we unfortunately missed at least two pretty important celebrations of life events for some of our closest friends (and Thankfully they are the type of people who understood the reasoning for our absence, and they’re ok…Everybody isn’t though). These were occasions that we were actually invited to, RSVPd for, and expected to attend. Then a little thing called LIFE happened, and our fun-filled weekend was replaced with a killer sinus headache, an exhausted Mommy, a sneezing/stuffy Daddy, trying to get a car battery replaced, a coloring book marathon with my 4-year old, and a massive poop explosion from the 11-month old tyrant! So…in all things typical of a writer, I decided to turn this experience into a special FYI for the world to be informed about. It is necessary and we’re probably not the only family that needs to share this “heart-felt” disclaimer! 😉

Here it is! 6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

  1. We have KIDS!!! I know. I know. This one is too easy and a lot of people are tired of hearing it. However, I feel like most Need to! Especially those who do Not have kids. While we still love you, we also need you to know that you have NO idea the strange ish that randomly occurs in a household with children. A temperature that’s 2 degrees over the norm, or a baby whining because of a missed nap can drastically curve Mommy and Daddy’s care about meeting up for drinks and chatter!
  2. We are TIRED!!! Like, not normal tired. The type of unbearable exhaustion where you fall asleep on the toilet and sneakily nod off while your child is reading “Corduroy” to you for the 678,467th time today!! Please understand that all of that Great intention we had to make it to your housewarming just got flushed down the toilet as Soon as we sat down in one spot!
  3. We DON’T HAVE A BABYSITTER!!! Contrary to popular belief and practices, there are seriously only like two people in the Entire Universe, outside of ourselves, that we will allow to keep our children! Yes, we continuously crack jokes about how people can “come and get them” but ummmm, not so much! If those two individuals aren’t available, we will All stay at home! Period. There is NO outing serious enough to hound somebody to watch our children, or sacrifice their safety Just to say we attended the hottest night out of the year. Fail! That’s why we both went to college and had a whole lot of fun and got that all out of our systems! We don’t feel guilty or as if we’re missing out on anything. Sorry, but Not sorry.
  4. If ONE of us can’t attend, nine times out of ten NEITHER of us will attend!!! This is a hard one for people to understand, and we’ve lost friendships over the concept. We are Married. We are not pals, boyfriend & girlfriend, or side buddies. We are a union. A team. We make our appearances together in the situations that call for it. This isn’t really negotiable. If hubby is sick and shut in, so am I, and vice-versa. Of course this doesn’t apply to the token Girl’s or Guy’s Night Out. We respect each other’s individualized socialization. I’m referring to the things we are Both hoped to be in attendance for. This also applies to situations where one spouse may think/know that the crowd at a certain event is questionable. Again, nothing personal against You, but we choose not to put ourselves in awkward or obviously drama-filled situations when we don’t have to!
  5. We actually DO have a FINANCIAL BUDGET and PRIORITIES!!! Not to rain on the parade of your $100/meal dinner party, but this week’s automatic tuition debiting from the Chase account, and the Costco diaper/wipe stock-up will probably hold a higher level of importance for us. I can cook you a fabulous meal, serve you a wonderful glass of wine, play some classic jazz tunes, and indulge you in the ambiance of my Own darn home! All for under $200. We still Love You though! 🙂
  6. WE JUST DON’T WANT TO GO!!! Yep, it sounds rude as hell, a bit pretentious, and will probably cause our invites to dwindle in the near future, but it’s Honest. The very few times that we actually get alone, we just want to enjoy each other! We still DO enjoy each other and we aren’t going to apologize for that. Sometimes we even just want to be left alone as a family with our boys and just relax.

Now all of this isn’t to say that we don’t like you, are trying to purposely be douche bags, or ‘unsupportive’. But we are humans! We want people to Overstand that. We love and appreciate all of friends and family, but guess what?? WE come First…and we Don’t want you to take that personal!

DJ Goes to Pre-Kindergarten!!!

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So here we are! My oldest little booger is officially going to school! He was ecstatic, I was emotionally confused, Dad was proud, and Devin could care less :-D. We have officially become That family. The family with a serious daily routine, a non-negotiable precisely followed schedule, a special ‘lunch items’ grocery list, parent-teacher nights, show-n-tell Fridays, classmate birthday party invites, carpools, field trips…and Utter parent exhaustion! 😦 My husband and I probably haven’t made whoopee in about a week because as soon as the last ankle-biter goes down, we are slobbing on a pillow! Don’t get me wrong. This is one of the most rewarding times of our lives, being able to watch our son skip off to his prestigious wonderland of privileged education, in his navy blue blazer, tie, and grey slacks. We dreamed of this day! We pat ourselves on the back for being able to provide this for him. We smirk a little each time someone inquires about his school and curriculum. But what does this all mean for DJ??? After all, he’s just a regular 4-year old boy who still needs assistance wiping himself for number two, considers “Peter the Rabbit” a literary masterpiece, and thinks that Iron Man and chocolate milk are the Best things ever introduced into his little life! He’s still just a Kid!!

Surprisingly, with all of the changes that have taken place since 4 weeks ago, the prodigal son seems to be adjusting perfectly fine. Aside from overcoming a couple of ‘shady grey’ days where he popped a couple of other rambunctious 4-year olds for getting on his nerves, it’s all been going pretty well. Then there’s “the girl” that has already helped him get his genuinely naive, loving soul into trouble. They’ve already been separated to different tables. That’s his girl…Let’s not forget that he Is his Father’s child! 🙂 We have, however, had to give him the 4-year old version of the “Domestic Violence is a Huge No-No” speech just as a general precaution.

Ultimately, we have begun to see the return on investment in terms of his increased socialization skills. As far as we were concerned as parents, DJ could have continued to go to my Mom’s house everyday, have his “Learning Time”, and still be a genius. The huge deficit we noticed early on was his need to be better socialized with his peers and those outside of his immediate address. Being an only child for three years afforded him the ability to be uno numero in every aspect of his life. Unfortunately, that is not how the real world will view or treat you, and I have never been too arrogant or prideful to realize that. My child needed to know how to interact with, be considerate of, and have respect towards others. We have truly seen that change. He has gained friends, enjoys playing with them, and learned that they have emotions and perceptions as well. Kids need balance!

So as we continue to adjust and sketch ourselves into this new life-mold, I will continue to share the experience with you. In the midst of this, I will probably have my Prozac dosage adjusted, my wine club membership put on auto-renew, and make sure that my birth control pills are Always pre-ordered a month in advance! Matter of fact, as I attempt to finish this entry while Devin keeps attacking the keyboard, drooling on my arm, and trying to play baby football with the mouse…I think I might actually look into that whole tubal ligation thing!!

When You Realize They’re Truly YOUR Kids…

DjNDevin in Club W Box

Every day we sit back and observe our little ones grow, mature, form personalities, and began to form specific interests. While most of the time we smile at the little antics that come forth with our kids, other times we have to flat out shake our heads. DJ is turning into a stubborn, slick-mouthed risk taker who Never takes No for an answer, but is quite smart, compassionate and loving (much like his Father). Then there’s Devin. At 10 months old, you can look at him and see right into my soul, lol. He’s a feisty and bossy little busy-body aggressive person, that likes to fight, fuss, and talk back. He also isn’t too privy to doing whatever it is that you told him to do. My babies!

Your parents always tell you that they can’t wait until you have children of your own, so you will get to experience the pain that you put them through. I now Completely understand this concept! The next time that I ask DJ to perform a task and he responds with “Pardon Me Mommy?? What are you trying to say?”, I’m going to hide all of his action figures and tell him that they went to live with another family! What 4yr old says Pardon Me??? Well, one who’s mother is a certified grammar nazi and used to proofread essays in college as a work-study job. My fault :-/  I guess I would rather him speak intellectually than spit out a host of “finna/boutas” I just wish he wouldn’t check the hell outta Me! Then it’s the fact that he greets each parental re-direction as an opportunity to debate and argue his case while on trial. Mr. Robinson, Sr. you say??… Devin probably has like three more times to punch me closed fist in the face and then annoyingly grunt at me as if he’s going to Completely kick my ass the next time I upset him. He’s kinda bi-polar (and I use that term very lightly, as I would never disrespect anyone with a legit mental illness. My career was in mental health. I love y’all! 🙂 My baby is a mixture of a refreshingly sweet and comforting, loving little heart, with a taste of short-tempered non-tolerance, and the boldness to lash out aggresively Fast when he is not happy or in a situation that makes him uncomfortable. Hey Mommy! 😛

I try to always remember that our children will always be a reflection of us and model what we do, however some traits they will automatically inherit no matter what. Those are probably the things that will frustrate us the most and truly cause us to stop and look at the bigger picture. Who do we want our children to be and why? Who do We want to be and why? I have become more mindful of my actions since I’ve become a parent, but my little devil comes out quite often. It’s quite natural though, and nothing that I’m going to lose sleep over. I am one of those parents who will have open dialogue with my kids about how much our shit stinks and what we might need to do to fix it!

For now, embrace your little mini-mes and Thank God you have been given the blessing to be able to see yourself manifested through the creation of life that you made with another person. I’m gonna love on mine every chance I get! I’m still shaking my head though…

As you can see in the above pic, I caught mine terrorizing my Wine Club box. If you know me at All, then you know that These Are Defintely MY Kids!!!! 😀

Boys Will be Boys…Won’t They???

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So it’s 10:08 in the P.M…I am exhausted! Now is when I work though. Ren & Stimpy are sound asleep. Or at least they have clean teeth and bodies, have peed (the big one), have a dry butt (the little one), are quiet, and have no visible signs of trauma or distress. They’re both in their rooms and respectively being silent, so I  could care less whether to attribute that to sleep or not. My husband is in the living room in his undies perusing Netflix, scratching his balls, and indulging in his Most favorite delicacy, Key Lime Pie. All is Well right now in the Robinson household.

What all exactly happened today though? This is the million dollar question! For starters, YES that is my overly expensive, but most comfortable ever, boob-saving Vicky Secret Bra that the 10 month old has on his Head in the picture! That’s the type of wacky shit that happens around here. I don’t know how he got it, but it seemed to entertain him at the time. I actually found it humorous, got over it, and continued to live life. You see, my house is free reign. I’m not one of those stuffy Mommies who limits my kids to certain wings of the home, establishing ridiculous rules as to where they can’t go. Kids are kids and you have to let them roam or else you’ll be drinking grain alcohol for breakfast out of a “#1 Mom” coffee mug, and smoking doobies at nap time.

So today we ventured to the park. I live in one of those neighborhoods that you can push the baby around in a stroller safely and old ladies are honorary neighborhood watch and say dumb shit to you like “Oh Baby you’re so young! In my day, kids didn’t need all them toys just to have fun. We played with dirt and rocks and had the Best of times!” …Yeah, and in you’re day the cotton gin had just been invented and my Great Grandma wasn’t even an embryo yet :/ …I just smile and nod pleasantly and go on about my way before this conversation gets too deep! Our park trip is good. I even swing a little with DJ and show him how to push himself higher into the air. The 10 month old has his legs comfortably propped up on the tray of his stroller dangling his little feet in the air and humming baby gibberish. We are doing great!

Then it was time to go back home…After we walk almost four blocks further than our home, strolling relaxingly along, DJ has a Complete melt-down about having to now go in the house. Like, one of those melt-downs where it takes you aback a little, and you feel a bit psycho for about 2 seconds, and you have to lean in Real close to your kid to aggressively whisper the ish that just popped into your mind. At this point, the 10 month old is over this whole walking/park thing as well, because he’s chunky and hot and irritable, so he starts whining too. I promise that they Must plan this stuff!

So Mommy does some quick thinking and remembers that she doesn’t have a record, her husband has a good job and can’t quit to stay at home with the kids if she goes to jail, and that she has a future. She gives the one having a meltdown the “look”, scoops the 10 month old up, and gets everybody back in the house. What happens after that don’t have Nothing to do with y’all!! :-D…..just remember I started this off by saying the kids had no visible signs of trauma or distress tonight! 😉

Disclaimer for those who take my posts a bit too literally: I do NOT actually harm my children! This is what writing is. It’s called embellishment! Goodnight! 🙂