4 Times This Week You Realized You Didn’t Have Your Sh*t Together For 2016

Taraji P Crying

Don’t Cry Now…

It’s the dawn of a new day. The calm before the storm. You’re about to rewrite history and redefine the future. There’s only one problem. You just decided to embark on this revolutionary rendezvous like ten minutes ago and the New Year is like four seconds away…

We do this same exhausting jitterbug Every darn year and you all still think that this plan is effective. We wait until around December 1st to decide that we need Iyanla to fix our lives, and in 30 days! Not that there is anything wrong with implementing, fostering, and embracing change, but people have to learn the key effective components of simplicity and living within a reality-based existence. You Cannot and Will Not become a size 2 by January 1st, after being a size 24 on December 20th, and deciding that you were going to go on a crash diet, detox, do 400 burpees everyday, and buy a waist trainer! You may die instead. I’m just saying.

We have become a society of instant gratification. We don’t know how to brace ourselves, tune into our true needs, and then thoroughly strategize and construct a pragmatic plan of action.

Who knows their 6 Ps?

“Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.” 

Poor Planning GIF

So in true essence of my viciously ingenuous therapy, I just wanted to keep you guys grounded a bit on the Eve of this delightful New Year. I only hope to bring light to your truth and inspire you to do a bit better…Or in the  most emphatically awakening manner ever, reassure your soul that it’s actually OK to be just where you are life! 😉

4 Times This Week You Realized You Didn’t Have Your Sh*t Together For 2016…

  1. When You Logged Into Facebook – I  don’t know what’s in the water these past couple days, but social media has been showing its narrow little behind lately! Everybody is either really angry, really happy, really racist, really in love, really annoying, really desperate, really successful, really fertile, really a do-gooder, really too serious, really phony, really lying, and/or all of the above. Meanwhile, you’ve been sitting on your couch this week, intensely absorbing all of this insanely ridiculous rubbish into your mental; and now you’re wondering who the hell you are, who the hell have you been, and how the hell do you become ALL of these things that you have been seeing. It’s only human nature to compare and contrast ourselves with others. In some instances it can be quite healthy. In some cases it can be toxic. Whatever side of the force of nature that you’ve taken to, Do note that Facebook has found a way to victoriously ruffle people’s feathers and cause them to rethink their entire damn existence and purpose in life!
  2. When You Switched Over Your Savings to Your Checking, Paid Off Most of Your Credit Cards, and Still Managed to Build Up a Nice Little Nest Egg to Take You Into the New Year, and Then Sallie Mae Called  – You probably shrieked with this one. Sallie Mae is the Devil. Student Loans are the most effective systematically controlling way to always keep you in debt! They can’t be filed with bankruptcy accounts, they refinance into the cost of three more tuitions, and they will garnish your $19/hour salary and think nothing of it. Yes, there are some who have mastered the art of their payment arrangement and pride themselves in that accomplishment. However, the bulk of most higher education having, useless-degree-toting citizens that I know, wouldn’t mind pulling a Michael Myers on ole Sallie! Just when you thought you had your finances stable, your academic front money from 20 years ago reminds you to go have several seats.
  3. When It Dawned on You That You Still Had the Same Dead-End Job   – The goal in life is to always aim higher and seek better. This holds especially true when we ponder over our jobs and careers and where we would like to be in our futures. The problem is that this amazing vision isn’t always so easily attainable. The job/position we entered into back in 2006 that we said we would occupy no longer than 2-3 years, has now turned into about 10. This is ok if you’re already in your desired profession, career, Company, and/or position. This may not be ok, however, if you’re still the Paralegal whose plan was to ultimately become a Partner (please reference Rachel from American drama series Suits). Now here you are on December 28th trying to figure out why you haven’t gotten your life together yet, and realizing that you just may not have your ish together like you thought you did!
  4. When You Were Honest Enough With Yourself To Actualize That You Didn’t Need To – Are you smiling yet? You should be because the entire premise of this post should’ve just come full circle for you. You are fine just the way you are!!! Don’t let society, Facebook, Finances, Career choices, a new year, or a blog measure your greatness! At this point you’re either Extremely upset with me, or remarkably enlightened. You actually read through this the entire time judging yourself and thinking that you didn’t have your sh*t together…Truth be told, you’re only as “together” as you deem necessary and acceptable. If I go into 2016 with my same baggage from 2016, I’m actually going to be ok with that and just go buy me some new cuter luggage. 🙂 See where I’m going with this?? Enhance what you have, improve what you can, keep what you need, and be content with the rest. Make orange juice outta lemons and always consider your glass half full — of Wine of course! 😉

Amy S Wine gif

Now go have a FANTASTIC evening and bring in your New Year  just the way that you want to…Me?? Im going to go get my Sh*t Together!! *grabs Chardonnay bottle*

Image sources: GIPHY, Strikkly Hip Hop, and Head Over Feels

 

Also visit this author’s hair blog at www.BeNaturallyHappy.com

 

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Prozac and Pinot Grigio

ProzacNPinot Pic

It’s an age-old taboo. An unspoken past time. The elephant in the room that everybody pretends as if they can’t see. We joke about it, frown our noses up regarding it, make mean judgmental snooty remarks, and don’t even realize the amount of us that are really out there…Medicated Wine-Controlled Mommies. Let’s get a bit real here. The average stay-at-home Mom is currently stirring up her special coffee-concoction during nap time, and hoping no one bothers her for at least an hour. We can put up fronts and play nice, but let’s always remember those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones!

About four or five months ago I was prescribed the pretty popular little miracle pill called Prozac. My husband was tired of being yelled at for the telephone bill being paid a day late, my employees didn’t talk to me until after 10am every morning, my 3yr old had begun mimicking me and regularly yelling as his way of getting people’s attention, and anytime someone brought up something I didn’t want to hear I’d annihilate their lives and make them wish that they were never born. My doctor thought I might have a bit of anxiety 😛

Now, I’ve always been a pretty transparent person firstly because I’ve never truly cared what others thought, and secondly, because you never know when your story might help someone! I always encourage people to get it out before it explodes and takes over from within. Stress is serious and nobody really wants to talk about it. Especially Black women. We seem to think that the more unimportant self-righteous crap that we can add to our daily agendas will make us seem perfect, untouchable, and ultimately as if we can save the World. Well guess what?? We can’t! We have to start saving our sanity!

I’m no glorified pill popper, but I must say that my mood altering chemical imbalance has shifted back to the ‘safe zone’ since the start of my remarkable little blue and white buddies. Do I depend on them? Nah, but I now have a clear enough perspective to more reasonably and rationally work things out without a four-alarm fire ensuing. I say all of this to let my fellow Mommies know that when and if you need help, Get It, and Fast! You cannot live up to a stereotype or be stigmatized if you don’t actually subscribe to the terms of such. You can however become a vicious Medusa head Mommy who doesn’t know whether she’s coming or going, and two minutes from a complete mentally-shattering emotional meltdown.

Now there’s the wine…Let me say this and then we aren’t even going to have to address it anymore ladies. I, Patrice Robinson, will NOT now, nor ever, apologize for my wine consumption! I am a grown Ass woman who often needs a chill down period that a cup of tea just won’t do justice for. We as women have to stop being sorry for how we feel and the things that we need and want to do! A glass of wine here and there never hurt anybody, and three glasses more will guarantee that you’re too damn sleepy to care about any of those people anyway! 😀 I’m not saying become an alcoholic where you cannot function to properly care for your children, yourself, or your husband. You better find your outlet though, and you better utilize it as often as needed. So go join a wine club, chat up the wine enthusiast in the ‘Wine & Spirits’ section of your local grocer, find out what your palate prefers, buy some good wine glasses, and become the lush that you long to be! Don’t be sorry or feel guilty for any of this either, because the next time Little Joe Joe drives his truck up your newly painted walls, you’ll thank me!

Seriously though, we as women have to start owning our mental health, stability, and overall quality of life. Of course all joking aside, this post isn’t to promote the abuse of any controlled substance or prescribed medication (and you probably shouldn’t take the two together). I instead want you to gain a little insight and know that you’re not alone. Us Mommies do A LOT, and we don’t always know when it’s time to take care of ourselves. Maybe you need to eat healthier or maybe you need to incorporate a new exercise regimen. Me? I’m sticking with my good ole P & P! 🙂