Why THIS Wife Isn’t Team Angie!

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Disclaimer: If you have yet to watch the latest episode of Power or don’t watch it at all, you should probably just click out of this now because you won’t “feel” my pain or understand anything that I’m preaching about.

 

As I sat on my couch one morning this week going over bank accounts, balancing the checking, savings, and bills, walking my husband through otherwise intelligible tasks, ordering my son’s school uniform, and then figuring out what I would use to create magic and invent a well-balanced nutritional breakfast for my children, I began to think about just how much wives do for their families, and began to ponder on this past week’s episode of Power. I immediately got a knot in my stomach and wanted to punch somebody.

Here’s the thing, while we all absolutely love and go bat shit crazy for this show; with its electrifying plots, rough neck urban-chic gangster vibe, and thrilling twists and turns, we continually allow the red flag to go over our heads that in the interim of this scintillating entertainment, there is a family being destroyed and a marriage being diabolically disrespected.

A lot of people like to separate Ghost vs. James St. Patrick and give some brilliant bullshit synopsis of why Jamie turned to Angie, and how Ghost was exhausted from his street life, leading him to turn away from his Wife. Fail! It’s this little thing called personal responsibility and accountability. You not being happy with your marriage/relationship is one thing. You not being happy with yourSELF and the alter ego You chose to create is another. At what point do you become a man and start being honest about your mess? He can cry that river all he wants to, build a boat, then float off to sea and get the f*ck outta my face with that BS! (Please pardon my language but we’re talking Love & War here)  I’m not buying into the melodramatics nor am I here for any parts of Jamie and Angie’s dysfunctionally absurd relationship.

This Wife isn’t Team Angie and let me tell you why…

  • Death to Side Chicks – Let me just go ahead and get this out now so y’all can be mad at me and then get over it. I don’t do side chicks. I don’t condone the practice, you, or your ministry; and nope I am not talking about girlfriend/boyfriend relationships. I am speaking in terms of marriage. Dating a married man. A man who you know is married. A man who you know is legally, emotionally, financially, psychologically, and otherwise tied to another whole woman. A man that is not yours. Before you tell me that I’m rude and judgmental, know that I am also very transparent. Have I dated somebody else’s boyfriend?? Of course I have! I was like 23, in college, still paying my rent with refund checks, and drinking Mad Dog 20/20. He didn’t own a nightclub, live in a penthouse suite, and have three children and a wife either. There was no broken homes, joint bank accounts, traumatized offspring, alimony, private-school tuition, or mortgages to think about. You get my drift?? I won’t now, nor will I ever, have an ounce of care and respect for a woman who thinks she can find her life and happiness in someone else’s man. Those of you who didn’t know he was married, bless your hearts and we’ll counsel you at a later time. For that other pathetic half, know that I have a coke, a smile, and my .22 waiting on you if you think for half a minute that my Mr is about to become apart of your happy ending.
  • Ain’t Nothing Better Than P*ssy, Except New P*ssy – I’m a married woman but I ain’t stupid! We have heard this line several times, and several men will attest to this notion. This also very heavily proves my point. Boo Boo Kitty was some new stuff, with a bonus of being someone whom he previously knew and seemingly trusted (sex-wise at least). We’re talking about a man who otherwise probably didn’t have time to find something random to be running up in besides his wife. Then here presents this perfectly packaged punanny, wrapped in an unadulterated clueless blast of infidelity called Angie. Not only do you get to explore a new womanly aura, you get to do so in lavish hotel suites, without kids in the next room, and under the guise that you all will live happily ever after in blasé bliss.
  • The Woman That Knows Nothing & Asks No Questions Isn’t the Real MVP – Every married man has that one gripe with us wives. We want and need to know what the hell is going on, and we will stay on your ass until we are given the information that is needed. We are the ones that won’t let you keep secrets, hide significant portions of your life, tell us any ole thing, or sell us a damn dream. We fill out the important paperwork you don’t wanna be bothered with, make sure the presentations are sent to your boss on time, know the lawyer and the best friend and how to get in contact with them when shit goes down, and run interference on all of your business matters to make sure things run smoothly.  You damn right we aren’t going to be the easy breezy, goofball knucklehead that lets you get away with murder!! Angie banged Jamie for almost two full seasons before she even knew his real identity and that she was in bed with the same person she was trying to take down. You do the math on that one. I digress…
  • You Don’t Get to Live Happily Ever After With What I’ve Built Up – This is a serious one here! Ma’am, I have endured years of bad credit, financial instability, riding in a hoopty, eating Ramen noodles, smashing in random places, and loving unconditionally for you to come swoop up the upgraded, new model of all my dirt, sweat and tears!! He wasn’t always “Ghost” and didn’t become such by himself! If we choose to remember the whole story on Ms. Valdez and Mr. St. Patrick, we’ll remember that she supposedly up and left homeboy when ish got rough for him, and she got access to better opportunities for her life. His Wife is who was down with him from the bottom and helped him to build that empire. His Wife is who attends the monthly meetings at the bank, reviews their legit finances, signs off on the accounts, runs his home, raises his children, attends pertinent business outings as his partner, knows the major players in both businesses and how to run them, makes sure the dirty money is cleaned and the dropped bodies are never discovered, and will do whatever is necessary when the necessary occurs…You don’t get to walk away from the person who has held your raggedy butt down before you became the powerhouse that you are. She also doesn’t get to reap the benefits of what I’ve worked for without having to get her hands dirty! Relationships based in rainbows and purple moons don’t last. Hence the fact that Ghost and James St. Patrick had to leave Angela Valdez alone and take both of their asses back home!
  • Our Children Don’t Deserve the Messy Outcome – One of the biggest disturbances of a broken family is the effect it has on the kids. No one seems to think about this when we’re sneaking on a vacation with that outside person, or telling them how much we love and adore them and are willing to leave our spouses for them. You see, our children actually get it the worst because nine times out of ten they never saw it coming and are given this outrageously horrifying news at a point where all decisions have been made and the damage is already done. They have no say so and feel powerless, unloved, and unimportant. All that Ghost’s kids got to see was a new woman who wasn’t Mommy, whom Daddy had moved on with, and that they now had to pretend they liked. That’s not fair and you won’t put my kids through it for a fantasy land affair! I didn’t birth three of your children to split them in three parts with another completely aloof undeserving person who doesn’t honor that stature.

When it’s all said and done, there will be several sides and points of view for this scenario. There are women who have been on both sides of the spectrum, and those who haven’t. There will be some that have an opposing outlook to mine, and that’s just fine. I came here today, however, to tell you why THIS wife just ain’t for it!!!

 

 

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10 Things You Should Never Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom

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So I promised my audience that I would get back to the initial goal of this blog, which was to highlight Mom life and try to keep our sanities intact  through humorous dialogue! However, in true fashion of a Mother’s diminishing attention span and tendency to become overwhelmingly sidetracked, I fell off course a bit and needed to do some housekeeping in a few other areas of life.

Welp, Momma’s back and I’m starting the New Year off just like I ended the last: Coming for your jugular!

While I’ve only been a part of the SAHM’s club for a little over 6 months now, I’ve still seen and heard some opinions and commentary that truly leave me miffed.

One of the main annoyingly vexing speculations that I’ve run across is the idea that being a SAHM seems to equate to some as the ‘easy life’ or that we’re a sorority of self-entitled spoiled brats, who sip green tea with our pedicured toes propped up, and binge-watch OITNB episodes all day, while scoffing at our fellow 9-5ers. Not So! What I have actually learned in my own experience is that being a SAHM is actually more demanding, challenging, and sometimes surprisingly more stressful than when I actually did go to work everyday. So I sat and pondered on a couple of the most aggravating things that us SAHMs don’t want to hear come out of your face Ever Again…

  1. “You Look Tired” – My GOD this is the quickest way to get on my ish list! Nope, I’m not tired. I just started doing my make-up to reflect a zombie. It’s the new fashion statement. Dork! Of course I’m tired!! My 4 year old has the energy level of a hipster on speed, and my 1 year old refuses to take naps. I used all of my energy when I went to go pee and I’m going to use the rest of it to punch you in the face…Even outside of the context of being a Mom, this is just the most blatantly rude thing you could ever say to someone. I’m going to start responding back with nasty narration such as “Yes! I’m as tired as your current relationship…”
  2. “What Do You Do All Day?” – Ummmm, sustain human life and breathe. What do you do all day?? Just because I’m not going to a job doesn’t mean that my day serves no purpose.
  3. “OMG! I slept ALL Day and I’m SO well-rested!” – Insert the emoji guy that’s blowing steam out of his nose and then re-read number 1. If you just noticed that I was tired, and I just told you that I take naps on the toilet to get rest, then how in the Entire universe do you think that I want to hear about how wonderfully soothing it was for you to count sheep…Again, punch your Face!
  4. “You Didn’t Cook Dinner??” – Nope! Matter fact, I myself have only had time to eat a handful of cheerios that were left on the table from my kid’s breakfast. I’m not apologizing for it either. You want dinner cooked? Well, I want a wine cellar and a 24/7 live jazz band in the basement…We all have dreams here don’t we??? You better go find some milk to go with those cheerios!
  5. “Why Do You Get Up So Early” – Again, being a SAHM doesn’t equal vacation time. I have a pre-schooler that has to be in his classroom by 8:15am, and he needs at least an hour after his morning pep talk to get his life together. Then there’s the 1 year old…yeah…moving on to number 6.
  6. “Why Don’t You Ever Pick Up the Phone?” – Because your rude butt calls me Everyday during nap time!!! Do you understand that during nap time I turn into a mime in my own home?!? There is no talking, there is no walking, there is no moving around, there is no sound! Hell! If I could figure out how to stop breathing and still be alive I would! I need this kid to sleep for HOURS! You’re calling me to talk about what somebody shared on Facebook is of No importance to me right now. Even when it isn’t nap time, Mommy’s cell phone is probably being used as a launching missile in a vicious war between Captain America and Iron Man.
  7. “You Never Invite Me Over During the Day” – To do what exactly?? Kids sniff out newbies and your presence will only make them feel as if the normal routine can be shifted or ignored all together. Yes, I’m at home all day, but there’s a strict structure that has to be followed to keep the entire household on track. You can come over and play with me later after their Dad gets home.
  8. “You Haven’t Had Your Hair/Nails Done in Forever!” – Because that’s Totally my top priority now that I keep my bonnet on all day to prevent Devin from driving his trains through my fro, as well as he also seems to be fascinated with my no-chip and thinks it’s amusing to pick it off. My appearance looks just the way that I choose for it to, and when an occasion calls for otherwise, I know how to get that taken care of. My hair and nails are probably healthier than yours anyway because I’m not messing with them all the time…Lemme go sip this tea though.
  9. “How Are You Not Giving Your Husband Sex Every Night??” – Ok, first of all, I don’t give my husband sex. It’s something that we both want and enjoy on an equally loving level. Second of all, by the time I get a chance to shower at midnight once the baby goes to sleep, I’m half-dead once my head hits the pillow. Again, you think I do nothing all day but sit tight and simmer for my beau. Ha! You better research some real life!
  10. “I Wish I Could Be a Stay-at-Home Mom” (now insert a funky smirk and some rolled eyes) – Listen here, because this is the one that I detest the most. Don’t wish for what you know Not of! Furthermore, don’t throw hater shade my way because of the way that my life affords me to live. You wanna be a SAHM, then do it! You better know what you’re getting yourself into and be choosing that role for good reasons. The old saying is still very relevant here; “The grass is always greener on the other side.” Thing is, you gotta figure out how I keep mine watered first! 😉

10 Things New Mommies Shouldn’t Apologize For – Pt.1

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It’s happened! The time has come! Your life has officially changed and there’s no looking back; you’re a New Mom!! Your emotions are a tad bit all over the place but nonetheless you are currently experiencing a level of undeniable bliss for another human being that there is no real relentlessly modest way to even sensibly express it…but now what?? Your perfectly planned and flawlessly designed life now begins to take some major twists and turns and you, to some extent, feel a little bit out of control and somewhat helplessly lonely, in your own personal cloud of cognitive dissonance. The reality of it all is that you will make it through! Believe it or not you’re gonna be ok — “You is smart. You is kind. You is important.” 🙂

The annoyingly disheartening thing about this is that the rest of the world doesn’t seem to understand your plight, nor sympathize with some of your painstaking predicaments. Guess what Mommy….Eff Em! Let me tell you at least 10 things that you most positively and unequivocally should Not apologize for as a new Mom!!!

  1. Your Weight Gain or Lack of Weight Loss – Numero uno, thee most annoying thing anyone in their ever-loving mind can do is mention a woman’s post-pregnant weight. Just find something else to talk about. Period. Here’s the thing, we have already sat in the hospital and then in our homes, and then stood in our bathroom mirrors looking at this new body and then sucking in trying to figure out what in the hell we used to look like. We’ve seen ourselves naked and with clothes on, so your rude unwarranted comments about how our stomachs are “kinda going back down” only make us cringe and want to head butt you. We don’t need you to state the obvious or tell us what we looked like in college, and remind us how small our waists were, or how firm and perky our boobs were, or how many more chins we have now, or that our butts got bigger/wider/smaller, or how “that baby has really made you spread” *insert stale face emoji*. You just created, grew, and then spew forth life to an entire human being. Whatever the hell your body has done, you should not be ashamed of!
  2. Your Choice Not to Nurse – I need all of the Grandmas, Aunties, Breast Feeding Nazis, Facebook Fan Groups, and the like, to mind your darn business!! While I breast-fed with both of my children and will scream its wondrous benefits to the moon, I also understand that it is not for everyone. It is also not easy. It can be mentally traumatic, physically unrelenting, and cause feelings of overall failure if your experience doesn’t go well. I thank God for an angel disguised as an amazing lactation consultant nurse who got right into these sore swollen boobies and showed me how to more effectively latch my youngest son! Then some mothers just do not have the time or energy to nurse. You’re up every other hour at night, and when you return to work, you better hope you’re lucky enough to have your own office because you’re pumping every time you even think about your baby! Again, I personally believe that breast milk is the best milk and think one should at least try before they completely rule it out. Don’t stress yourself though. If you cannot or do not want to do it, don’t. Don’t apologize for it either!
  3. Not Being Ready For Intercourse Yet – This can be a biggie! Especially those of us who are married and in committed relationships so you’re probably sleeping with this man every night. The doctor said six weeks and you’re knocking on about twelve.  He is getting antsy and annoyed and you barely even have the attention span or time to notice. Well guess what MAN…She probably smells like breast milk, drool, an onion, leftover poop, and dirty hair because she gets a shower when she can and doing a wash, deep condition, and blow out with your favorite smelling conditioner just hasn’t been on her list of priorities lately. By the time she pathetically climbs into the bed, she is out quicker than a patient who gets anesthesia before a surgery. Needless to say, sex is the furthest thing from her mind right now. She loves you dearly and yearns for you also, but give her a little time and a weekend where your Mom has the kids and she can focus! She will get it together soon enough but she should not apologize for right now!
  4. Being Tired – This one is obvious and too easy. New Moms are freakin’ TIRED!!! Do you understand what the human body has just gone through, and now there’s a little human desperately staring at you for every ounce of their survival 24/7??? Don’t tell a new Mom that she looks tired. Don’t tell a new Mom that she doesn’t have a reason to be tired because she has a husband. Don’t downplay her tiredness just because you can’t comprehend it. Matter of fact, unless you’re willing to come over and watch the baby so she can sleep for 8-12 hours straight, don’t even talk!
  5. Becoming a New Person – I always sit back and wait for this one when I have friends or others that I know who are about to have their first child. These are usually the people who unfairly judged you when you had your first child and had a whole arsenal of smart ish to say about your new choices and way of living. Your priorities have changed and for good reasoning, but a lot of people won’t get that. Even being pregnant, you have no idea what your mind-set is about to evolve into. You no longer care about clubbing until 4am, making reckless choices with your health/overall life, pointless drama, drinking until you forget your last name, or what color your nails will be the next week. You’ve become an avid member of Mommy blogs and now subscribe to Parent magazine. Finding some good life insurance and researching the best daycare and pre-schools become your past time. You start to disconnect from busy body toxic friends that serve no purpose in the person who you need to ultimately be right now. Taking shots has transitioned into slowly sipping a good Malbec once you get the baby asleep at night. You forgot what nail polish even smells like, and are lucky to rip off that hang nail before it rips your child’s face open while giving him a bath. Things just aren’t the same anymore.

Your life has changed Momma. You owe No One an explanation…and you don’t need to apologize for that!

Ectopic Pregnancy and Loving After Loss

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As the new age millennials say, “I’ve been all up in my feelings this morning.” Two years ago to this day I sat in a stiff hospital bed, staring blankly at an egg-plant painted wall, wondering if I would ever be the same. Would my marriage ever be the same? Would my body ever be the same? Would I still be a good Mommy to my two-year old? Would I ever be able to face all of those people I had so excitedly gushed about our newly expected arrival to?

On October 7, 2013, I suffered one of the most common conditions experienced by almost 200,000 women a year: an ectopic pregnancy. For those who have never heard of or don’t truly understand it, ectopic pregnancy (extrauterine pregnancy), occurs when the fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus and continues to develop there. Typically the fetus attempts to grow within a fallopian tube. This is not a healthy nor sustainable pregnancy, and depending on how far along the Mother is there will either be oral treatment to permanently dissolve the pregnancy, or in more severe cases, emergency surgery. I fell into the latter group. I also had to lose a fallopian tube.

While my husband and I had planned for this new little life, we never penciled in the concept of someone telling us that he or she may never see the light of day. This was hard. I was a seemingly healthy young woman in her early 30s. I had a normal first pregnancy with no complications. I prayed every night, Thanked God every day, we were really good people…and my baby was still gone. No one could logically explain it to me, even in the sense of medical mumbo jumbo. All I kept hearing was the all too nerve-wrecking “Sometimes these types of things just happen.” The Hell You Say!!! Not to ME! Not to US! Not MY family!

As I’ve stated before in my published Ebony article, days rolled into nights and nights took way too long to go away. Despite my pain, my strength for my husband and my love for our son was my main concern. I cried in the shower and sat in my own awkward silence throughout day when no one was around. When I was finally able to log back into social media, I wasn’t all that comfortable yet about interacting with people, seeing pictures of babies, or being completely honest about how I felt. When I go through things on a serious level, I become the poster child for every stereotypical characteristic of an introvert. I don’t want pity parties or thousands of phone calls. I’ll text you to let you know that I’m alive, and the rest you can get from my husband. However, you realize at some point that life goes on, you aren’t the only one to go through this, and in fact, there are some who have suffered worse. You get a bit more humble about your experience, but you never get over it.

Last year on October 9, 2014, I pushed out an 8 lb bundle of healthy joy and my life changed forever! Devin and I have a bond that No One can or will ever understand. Of course I still often wonder longingly who that child would’ve been, but then I look into Devin’s eyes and I get my answer. People often criticize or judge my husband and I for the tremendously strong relationship that we have, and how seriously we take our family unit. Now you know why. Loving after Loss isn’t easy, but together you can make it through!

Why My 1 Year Old Isn’t Having a Birthday Party

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Next week on October 9, Devin will turn 1!!! 😀  I think all Mommies pretty much feel the same way about celebrating our babies’ milestones in life. We want pictures, tutus, themes, the biggest darn personalized character cake we can find, super heroes, the most quintessential party favor bags…a ferris wheel built in the backyard, a hot air balloon, and nothing short of a miniature Disneyland production to complete this wonderful occasion. The problem here is that we often want all of this excessive ‘extraness’ for tiny human beings who wear bibs as outfits, eat lint balls off of the floor, deem a paci as his most prized possession, and likes to play in the toilet! You see where I’m going here?

For my first child we did it up big for his first big day! Elmo was his BFF, I was a first-time Mom, and his birthday is smack dab in the middle of the Summer. We hooked up with some friends, got together a theme and guest list, found the decorations online, bought a gazillion Sesame Street themed cupcakes and a cake, purchased about $300 worth of food, another two or so of alcohol, got he and Daddy matching outfits, and took off work early to make sure this superstar shindig was executed smoothly. Then reality happened…DJ could care less about the food because he was still drinking Enfamil with rice cereal in it for meals, it was too hot for his outfit so he spent the duration of his party in a diaper, he took half of the decorations and ripped them to shreds because the sound of paper tearing entertained him more than his gifts, he was more terrified than excited of Cookie Monster’s face on his cake and wanted nothing to do with the whole thing. Last but not least, he was asleep 30 minutes into the party and retreated to bed for the remainder of his extravaganza! The adults partied until 4am, had a ball, ate all of the food, cleaned up the leftover mess, and DJ will never remember Any of it!

This time around will be different. Although we understand the premise of making memories, I have come to the conclusion at this point in motherhood that half of what we do for our children is a reflection of ourselves and the things that We want! DJ didn’t want all of that stuff above. I did. DJ doesn’t necessarily need the Polaroid shot of him poking his little finger into a cupcake. I do. Why?? Because he will always be my baby! Some parents tend to go overboard because they want to give their children something that they did not have or experience in childhood, and that’s fine too! I just wanted to be obnoxious and throw a big bash!

I think the most important thing that we have to remember about our children is that they need LOVE! Especially in the infant/toddler stages. Not stuff! I can see that Devin gets pure joy out of just sitting on Mommy and playing patty cake. He giggles at his Daddy when he puts his big arms around him and snuggles into his little face. His world lights up when he hears his big brother’s voice, and he shows all six of his little teeth whenever he sees his Granny. A party is not needed to achieve theses moments.

So this coming Friday won’t be spent on the effort of the event, but on the meaning of the day and appreciation for the child. I will probably find him a onesie that says something about turning 1. I will most definitely take pictures of him as he goes about his busy little day as an official 1 yr old, and his brother will absolutely want to bake him a cake so that He can eat it 🙂  …But most importantly, we will Love on him all day as a family. And that’s more priceless than any birthday party!

DJ & Devin’s Response to All the Critics…

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Hi! So we’ve heard about all of the controversy over Mommy’s recent blog post “6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…”, and we wanted to sound off on some of the responses. We promise not to take up much of your time because we know everyone is busy, plus we have to get back to playing with Mommy & Daddy! We Love our parents and it would only be right to defend them. Please keep in mind though that we’re only 11 months and 4 years old, so harsh comments might be a bit inappropriate and unnecessary towards us 😦

So here’s why we think you’re mad at Mommy & Daddy, and why we’ll always defend their honor…

  • A lot of people are REALLY upset about Mommy’s mention of RSVPing to two events and not being able to attend. Mommy & Daddy did Not just flake on their friends! BOTH parties were notified of the last-minute absence and given sincere apology as to why they couldn’t attend. Mommy even has a very nice baby gift for her expecting friend who’s shower she couldn’t attend!
  • Mommy didn’t write her post to offend single moms, childless women, or those that are not married. My brother and I aren’t all that good at reading yet, but I don’t think her post pointed any particular group out. She was speaking to whomever needed to receive it. If you became offended, it might be because Mommy touched an unspoken nerve on your Own behalf! Don’t be mean to my Mommy though! 😦
  • WHY WHY WHY are you all wishing divorce on our Mommy & Daddy?? You guys don’t get to see or be around them and realize just how much they love each other! It’s a very positive image for my brother and I to observe because it will teach us how to love our spouses when we grow up! Mommy isn’t co-dependent on Daddy. Daddy loves Mommy to death and is always by her side! She knows she can depend on him for anything and he knows she always has his back! We think it’s pretty cool!!  🙂
  • Contrary to what most assumed, Mommy & Daddy didn’t have an actual wedding, or bridal shower, or any of that other stuff you guys brought up. They had a really small ceremony composed of those they care for and who care for them. We also know our parents personally, and they don’t get their feathers ruffled by much. So not being able to attend an event they planned wouldn’t ruin their lives. They’d understand it and get over it. They realize that life doesn’t always work out the way you intend it to! 😉
  • My Mommy & Daddy actually DO have social lives, with each other and separately with their own respective friends. They’ve attended lots of weddings, baby showers, house-warmings, and birthday parties! Sometimes we don’t even wanna go but they make us! Obviously those were times when all the planets aligned perfectly in the Universe, and they were effortlessly able to attend.
  • My Mommy & Daddy have A LOT on their plates and they don’t complain about it.  They make humor out of it, which eases the load for us too. We don’t ever see our parents arguing or fighting or stressed out! Most of what they do, or do not do, is all for the benefit of us, so that our future is secure and bright!! My Mommy recently quit her full-time job as a Director to stay at home with us and make sure the house was running smoothly and that Daddy was also being taken care of. She makes sure that I (DJ) gets to and from school everyday (Pre-K is a pretty big deal! :-D), and she tends to my baby brother while I’m at school. She makes time to go on field trips with me and always makes sure I have a yummy healthy lunch made daily, plus lots of other cool stuff that takes a lot of dedication and time on her part. Whenever I have a “bright yellow day” at school, Mommy takes me to Starbucks for my favorite white milk shake! :)…My Daddy makes sure my uniform is pressed and fresh daily, and shows me how to tie my shoes and put on my tie like a big boy! He even takes us to the park and for walks when Mommy needs some alone time. My parents even have their own outside businesses and commitments that they make to the community. While my Daddy works full-time at a school, he also does Uber on weekends, and is the host of a popular Podcast, I94, with his good friends! How cool! My Mommy owns her own business and has her own hair product line that will actually soon be in stores. I’ve watched her sit at the kitchen table and make each bottle one by one, and then we go to the post office to ship them out! That’s pretty awesome to me and shows me an entrepreneurial spirit early on! You guys should check out her site at http://www.BeNaturallyHappy.com to see just how much more she does! Maybe even buy her product if you support her! She’s also got a well-followed Fan Page for her company on Facebook, at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Naturally-Happy/1570847059843108
  • Some of you guy’s scrutinized my Mommy’s grammar and writing style, but she’s actually a pretty Great and accomplished writer! Maybe you guys should go read her two published articles on Ebony.com and GoodHairMag.com: http://www.ebony.com/life/birth-after-loss-503#.VXllyku9L7o and http://www.goodhairmag.com/good-hair-featured-beauty-patrice/  🙂
  • Mommy & Daddy appreciate their friends. We’ve got A LOT of really cool “aunts and uncles” that we get to see all of the time, and they understand our busy lives, but still Love us! Mommy & Daddy have always taught us to hold on to nothing that doesn’t want to hold on to us! So if someone doesn’t want to be apart of Mommy and Daddy’s lives for whatever reason, they don’t sweat it, and neither will we! Those who want to be here aren’t going anywhere. Besides, they will always still have plenty that DO support them and us!

Well, we have to go now because it’s almost our bedtime, Mommy still has to read me a story and make my brother’s bottle, and Daddy promised to play hide ‘n’ seek with me after my bath. I hope we cleared up some stuff for you guys here, but if not, our family still has no hard feelings towards you! Like I tell my Mommy all the time, “DJ Loves ALL the people, and ALL the people Love DJ!” 😉

6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

MomNDad

I was trying to figure out which blog this topic should go under, and decided that it fell more so into the “parental/family” category, so here goes!

Over the past weekend, we unfortunately missed at least two pretty important celebrations of life events for some of our closest friends (and Thankfully they are the type of people who understood the reasoning for our absence, and they’re ok…Everybody isn’t though). These were occasions that we were actually invited to, RSVPd for, and expected to attend. Then a little thing called LIFE happened, and our fun-filled weekend was replaced with a killer sinus headache, an exhausted Mommy, a sneezing/stuffy Daddy, trying to get a car battery replaced, a coloring book marathon with my 4-year old, and a massive poop explosion from the 11-month old tyrant! So…in all things typical of a writer, I decided to turn this experience into a special FYI for the world to be informed about. It is necessary and we’re probably not the only family that needs to share this “heart-felt” disclaimer! 😉

Here it is! 6 Reasons My Husband and I Probably Won’t Make Your Event, and Why We Don’t Want You to Take it Personal…

  1. We have KIDS!!! I know. I know. This one is too easy and a lot of people are tired of hearing it. However, I feel like most Need to! Especially those who do Not have kids. While we still love you, we also need you to know that you have NO idea the strange ish that randomly occurs in a household with children. A temperature that’s 2 degrees over the norm, or a baby whining because of a missed nap can drastically curve Mommy and Daddy’s care about meeting up for drinks and chatter!
  2. We are TIRED!!! Like, not normal tired. The type of unbearable exhaustion where you fall asleep on the toilet and sneakily nod off while your child is reading “Corduroy” to you for the 678,467th time today!! Please understand that all of that Great intention we had to make it to your housewarming just got flushed down the toilet as Soon as we sat down in one spot!
  3. We DON’T HAVE A BABYSITTER!!! Contrary to popular belief and practices, there are seriously only like two people in the Entire Universe, outside of ourselves, that we will allow to keep our children! Yes, we continuously crack jokes about how people can “come and get them” but ummmm, not so much! If those two individuals aren’t available, we will All stay at home! Period. There is NO outing serious enough to hound somebody to watch our children, or sacrifice their safety Just to say we attended the hottest night out of the year. Fail! That’s why we both went to college and had a whole lot of fun and got that all out of our systems! We don’t feel guilty or as if we’re missing out on anything. Sorry, but Not sorry.
  4. If ONE of us can’t attend, nine times out of ten NEITHER of us will attend!!! This is a hard one for people to understand, and we’ve lost friendships over the concept. We are Married. We are not pals, boyfriend & girlfriend, or side buddies. We are a union. A team. We make our appearances together in the situations that call for it. This isn’t really negotiable. If hubby is sick and shut in, so am I, and vice-versa. Of course this doesn’t apply to the token Girl’s or Guy’s Night Out. We respect each other’s individualized socialization. I’m referring to the things we are Both hoped to be in attendance for. This also applies to situations where one spouse may think/know that the crowd at a certain event is questionable. Again, nothing personal against You, but we choose not to put ourselves in awkward or obviously drama-filled situations when we don’t have to!
  5. We actually DO have a FINANCIAL BUDGET and PRIORITIES!!! Not to rain on the parade of your $100/meal dinner party, but this week’s automatic tuition debiting from the Chase account, and the Costco diaper/wipe stock-up will probably hold a higher level of importance for us. I can cook you a fabulous meal, serve you a wonderful glass of wine, play some classic jazz tunes, and indulge you in the ambiance of my Own darn home! All for under $200. We still Love You though! 🙂
  6. WE JUST DON’T WANT TO GO!!! Yep, it sounds rude as hell, a bit pretentious, and will probably cause our invites to dwindle in the near future, but it’s Honest. The very few times that we actually get alone, we just want to enjoy each other! We still DO enjoy each other and we aren’t going to apologize for that. Sometimes we even just want to be left alone as a family with our boys and just relax.

Now all of this isn’t to say that we don’t like you, are trying to purposely be douche bags, or ‘unsupportive’. But we are humans! We want people to Overstand that. We love and appreciate all of friends and family, but guess what?? WE come First…and we Don’t want you to take that personal!